Arthur .... Thanks. I don't feel quite on an island if several knowledgeable posters also draw a blank. I'm a computer guy where if it fails once, it will fail again if you don't find and fix it. I was thinking about wiring a buzzer to the starter so it would buzz whenever the solenoid was energized. I could then give her clear instructions.... If the engine is running and the buzzer is buzzing, turn the key off. At least she wouldn't destroy another starter motor.
190SL, 230SL 5-speed, 95 E320 Wagon, 01 E320 Wagon, MGB, Boxster 'S', 190SL "Barn Find"