Rather than having cumbersome elections, necessitating topheavy and inefficient beauracracies, huge taxpayer expenditures, and debates about who really won the presidency, I propose a new method for selecting which political party controls the country.
Bulldoze some of the cornfields in Nebraska and build a huge arena which can accomodate...say...half a million people. Then gather a previously selected group of warriors/gladiators representing each party and have them duke it out on the plains while the nation watches. Whichever army wins, that one's political party will then control the country for four years, after which the whole process is repeated.
It would foster cohesion within parties, it would provide motivation for the losing party to gain control, and best of all, it would be totally objective and free from politicking! Then, whatever party lost could never complain about recounts and public opinion polls and such, because they weren't good enough to rule the nation.
The only problem is, the Democrats would always lose....
