Hi,
I am having trouble understanding exactly where and how I should be jacking and supporting my 82 300TD. I have searched through the previous posts and gotten more information - unfortunately, I am still not clear and this is probably the item that it is most crucial that get right.

I could ask my local mechanic but he would just laugh at the thought of a mere mortal (as opposed to a mercedes diesel mechanic god) trying to work on such a complex machine as MB diesel. At least this mechanic is better than the schizophrenic one that would let me watch and ask questions while he worked but grabbed my breast, rambled on about a drug addict he was in love with for eight hours straight and bent my right wheel strut while improperly jacking my car. I know these are useless details but maybe my effort to learn how to work on these things will be amusing to you as you answer my admittedly simple question.

In the user's manual, there is information about using the jacking holes where the original manufacture included jack goes. Unfortnately, there is nothing about where I should then put the jack stands. I have jacked a Mazda truck and a '93 Saturn but it was more clear to me on those vehicles where it was safe to put the stands. Everything seems so curvy under my benz and this weekend, I had one of the jackstands tip, before I was under it, while I was jacking the other side. My neighbor who was working with me was stumped as well. I have read that I should put them under the frame rails but I am unclear about what the frame rails are. Are they the long rectangular (3"/7cm wide and 2"/5cm high) pieces that run along the bottom side of the car or are they the sort of indented area between the doors and this long rectangular piece? I know that I need to put wood in between the stands and the vehicle.

Today, as an alternative approach, I got a set of ramps and chocks but the ramps just slide forward on the cement in my driveway when I try to drive up on them. The instruction manual says to not block the front end of the ramp as this will cause them to crumble under the horizontal pressure as I drive up them. Instead, they slide along and scar the cement of my rented driveway and make the most hideous screech I have ever heard (which is considerable since I make a living working with computer music which is full of screeches and groans).

So, please, I know this is a stupid question but I would not be asking if I was not clear. This is the first time I have posted here but I have used the information in this website to do various repairs (the ones that didn't require getting Under the car). Pictures would be incredibly helpful - I would even be willing to send you chocolate chip cookies in exchange for some clear pictures. (it is a small price to pay for a working vehicle and an unsquashed head)

In summary:

1) Where do jack stands go on a 300TD?
2) What am I doing wrong with the ramps?