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Old 11-15-2006, 02:37 PM
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R Leo R Leo is offline
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: En te l'eau Rant
Posts: 5,393
If governments built cars…

USA – something with the stamina, styling and grace of a D-9 but every 4 years you would have to vote to replace the engine and even then it wouldn’t matter what was voted in because you'd still have fundamentally the same machine. There would be many components in each vehicle with unknown, yet duplicated functions.

UK – a fine handling saloon with great styling and leather upholstery but would only be drivable in foggy, damp conditions in Hong Kong, Japan, Australia, New Zealand and Australia. And, you would have to put on a goofy powdered wig to start it up.

France – a strange, lozenge-shaped sedan with a lame name like “dolphin” or “lemon”. Comfortable to ride in, plenty of ashtrays and lighters but would only run about 14 weeks out of the year. It would smell like a locker room and the suspension would make rude sounds when adjusting to foreigners.

Italy – Fiat. ‘nuff said.

Germany – a station wagon available in two models: executive models would be capable of continuous, high-speed operation. The utility models would achieve incredible economy and function for years. All components would be interchangeable. The Finns would exploit this interchangeability to create fire-breathing ‘economy’ cars with 400+hp. The only colors available would be a strange, yellowy mustard color and a bright orange called Englisch Rot.

China – A three wheeled truck-like vehicle, powered by a soft-coal burning, low-pressure steam engine. The frame would be copied from a 1920’s US railroad locomotive and be made of cast iron at a foundry that used burning tires to smelt the metal. It would be capable of carrying incredible amounts of weight and could be quickly converted to pedal power or to burn rice straw. It would be painted blue.

North Korea – There is only one. It’s reportedly made from imported Chinese truck parts but nobody has ever seen it and even the North Koreans are not sure if it works.
Never a dull moment at Berry Hill Farm.

Last edited by R Leo; 11-15-2006 at 03:39 PM.
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