I was on my back working under my 56 Chevy Nomad one time. Car was on a slope. Nose was uphill and on ramps with BIG chocks behind rear wheels. Well, sir, the ramps broke, dislodging the chocks. So the car rolls downhill and up onto the right side of my chest. I only had one arm/hand free and pulled the car uphill and off of me THREE times (amazin what some excitement and a lil adrealin will do fer ya). It kept rolling downhill and up onto me each time I got out of breath and tired....was screamin fer help just a little. My Mom-In-Law heard me scream, and jumped into the car, fired it up, and drove that sucker offa me--draggin me a little. Anyhow, car was now off of me, I crawled out from under, rolled onto my stomach and proceeded to do a push up to get up.......that is when she let it roll back downhill and stopped it on my right hand. Broke one finger and squished three fingers out of place. Ouch!

So in the emergency room, the staff was admiring what a pretty tire print (water sipes and all) I had on my skin right above my liver--even thru a T-shirt. Then doc put the three fingers back in place. Felt so good I was ready to go home. But, NOOOOO! Doc then informed me that finger was broken and he'd have to pin the bones together. So he puts this apparatus to hang my hand from the finger on (looked like the little woven Chinese thumb cuffs we used to play with as kids). Doc was teaching an intern and runnin off at the mouth stead of payin attention to th job at hand and dropped the darn set-up. Luck was with me, as I saw it fall, and went down to the floor with it. It would have given me a compound on the fracture had I not done so. So, I proceed to tell doc how #$^%&%^&#EW$@W$ lucky HE was that I was watchin, and that by GOD he better pay attention or I'd stuff him under that car. So he just puts the squeeze on the adjustment on the i.v. morphine, shoots a little more lidocaine in the finger, and a good time was had by all. NEXT round is on me, barkeep!!

So far in this old life I've been shot in the back, stabbed thru one calf to the bone, cut, had the car parked on my chest, rolled a VW four times, got off of a motorcycle at the wrong time (had a front tire blow out at about a buck-thirty...resultin in a separated shoulder and lost about 1/3 of my skin in just a few seconds), had 38 kidney stones (those suckers hurt - when they cut off your water -- last stone did that causing me to spasm so bad that I pulled two vertabrae out of place...crushing the disc and squishing the left sciatic nerve), had my heart cut out-fixed and stuffed back into my chest, then had the second heart attack.

So sometimes, "it" really is out to get you. So I asked God --why,why, why me Lord. And He replied, "Well, Max, I just don't know, but there has always been something about you that just chaps my ass!"

All of the above is TRUE, cept fer th last paragraph, I just say that lil joke I made up. If I can laugh at it on a really down day, I figure I'll make it.

So y'all be carefull out there. Ya just might not be paranoid and somethin IS out to getcha!

Regards

Run-Em (Max)
1983 300SD-aka- SPARKY THE DIESEL