- PHONE: My Q7 needs a new windshield. I'd like to drop it off now. Well mam, it would be better for me to make the appointment for 2 days from now as I have to order the glass. You're looking at about $715 installed with tax. Oh, I have to PAY for that ?

- IN PERSON: I'm doing a walk-around/damage report before a ML430 goes into service. You have to replace the Mercedes emblem that just fell off the tailgate. I walk to the back.... Did it FALL off after the garage door scraped down the length of the tailgate right across it ?

- PHONE: Just gave a $27,000 estimate to replace the hydro-locked S430 engine.
I have to pay for that ? The water wasn't THAT deep !! Sir, the air intake for the engine as 3 FEET off the ground. Certainly not THAT deep but more than deep enough to damage your engine. (IT'S A GERMAN CAR NOT A GERMAN U-BOAT YOU MORON).... I thought.
Back to my early days under the cars:

- IN PERSON: Just flushed the cooling system on an old Firebird. 5 minutes later I was called to the service desk. My speedometer doesn't work now !!! What does flushing your radiator have to do with your speedometer ? Well it doesn't work now. Give me the keys. I don't take 1/2 a step out the door back to the car: Tell me how you know your speedometer doesn't work NOW when the car hasn't moved from EXACTLY where I parked it ? Silence. Here's your key back... (F*CKWIT).. I thought....

IN PERSON: Drunken bastard comes in with the car his wife came in with earlier. She had a note written by HIM as to which tire goes where,etc. SLURRING: UUUU put da t. ti. tires in thr rung placcccce. Waaaddayyaa gnna doo abooot it ? POKES ME IN THE CHEST. The first thing I'm gonna do is break your f*cking finger off and stick it in your eye if you poke me again. YEEEEAAAHHH ??!?!!? Yeah. Turns and goes back to his car. I called a friend who is a member of the local constabulary AND is on duty.. Being the upstanding citizen that I am.

- Christmas eve. Closing soon. A VW DASHER pulls up sounding like a cow bell. Luck of the draw, it's my car to check out. CHECK BRAKES on the repair order. I get in the car. Signs of something askew.
#1 - a brake caliper sitting on the passenger side floor. Not a new or rebuilt in the box. A dirty, used caliper laying there.
#2 - I Start it and push the brake pedal before I release the parking brake. THUMP !!! The brake pedal goes to the floor without a hint of resistance. I pull it in, warning everyone to MOVE ! I put it on the lift and start removing wheels. Checked the master cylinder - bone dry. I remove the right front wheel. Solid rotor nearly as thin as notebook paper. Right rear wheel - wheel cylinder blown out and what's left of the shoes are saturated in a mix of brake fluid, brake dust and thinned bearing grease. Left rear nearly as bad. And on to the left front wheel. Well... Now I know where that caliper belongs..... And remember the "cow bell" sound ? The left rotor had been worn so thin (friction material long gone on both front pads that the backings had shredded the rotor facings) that the friction facing separated from the hub surface and was spinning on the left axle like a hula hoop. Driven in, remember ? Genius has $50 available credit and wants to DRIVE the car back home. In no uncertain terms do I let him take the car. Well within the law, I leave the car on the lift and tell him he is not taking the car without a tow truck or flatbed.

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Sharing my partner's 2012 Forte 5dr SX til I find my next 123 or 126..
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Do I miss being a service advisor ???