Does your car use the big lamp monitor relay like the older cars? If so just get a wiring diagram, disconnect the power going to that relay for the high and low beams, and use those wires for the triggers for your relays. Then the system can still monitor the other lamps on the car.

-Jason

__________________
1991 350SDL. 230,000 miles (new motor @ 150,000). Blown head gasket

Tesla Model 3. 205,000 miles. Been to 48 states!
Past: A fleet of VW TDIs.... including a V10,a Dieselgate Passat, and 2 ECOdiesels.
2014 Cadillac ELR
2013 Fiat 500E.