Bustard (n.), a rude bus driver.



Semantics (n.), pranks conducted by young men studying for the priesthood.



Spatula: n. A fight among vampires.



Excruciate: n., the ligament that attaches your ex-wife to your paycheck.



Perplexed: adj., lost in a movie theater.



Racket: n., a small pair of breasts.



Nincompoop: n., the military command responsible for battlefield sanitation.



Ineffable: adj., describes someone you absolutely cannot swear in front of.



Pontificate: n., a document given to each graduating pope.



Pimple: n., pimp's apprentice.



Discussion: n., a Frisbee-related head injury.



Ozone: n., area in which the G-spot is located.



Flattery: n., a place that manufactures A and B cup brassieres only.



Cabbage Patch: A patch for those trying to stop eating cabbage.



Sudafed: A software program on how to file a civil action against the government.



Oral-B: Monica's grade on her last intern evaluation.



The Washington Posts Style Invitational also asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting or changing one letter, and supply a new definition:



Tumfoolery: When a middle-aged man sucks in his stomach while being introduced to an attractive woman



Fadavers: Last year's hot fads.



Polarvoid: The state of having no baby pictures, a condition that usually befalls the second-born child.



Dozie: The lie a person tells when a telephone caller wakes him up and he denies that he was sleeping.



Hooternanny: The au pair you thought was especially promising, but your wife sent back to the agency.



Apocalypstic: The little smudge I came home with on my collar that makes my wife act like it's the end of the world



Accimental: Caused by a Freudian slip.



Algaebra: What the Little Mermaid wears over her chest.



Aliass: A body double for a nude scene.



Arbyss: The deepest part of the stomach, reserved for two Giant Roast Beefs, large Curly Fries and a chocolate shake.