1.Any fake phone numbers a girl gave would automatically forward to aher real number.
2. Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to "I LOve You."
3. Hallmark would make "Sorry what was your name again?" cards.
4. Birthd control would come in ale or lager.
5. Each year, your raise would be pegged to the fortunes of the NFL Team of your choice.
6. The funniest guy in the ofice would get to be CEO.
7. At the end of the work day, a whistle would blow and you'd jump out your window and slide down the tail of a brontosaurus and right into your AMG Benz like Fred Flintstone.
8. Tanks would be far easier to rent.
9. Garbage would take itself out.
10. Instead of beer belly, you'd get "beer biceps."

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"It's normal for these things to empty your wallet and break your heart in the process."
2012 SLK 350
1987 420 SEL