That's an ugly situation. Once you get them out replace them all with the modern ones that don't have that crappy extended shank.

One member has reported success by using a solid spacer (like another bolt) and smacking the very end of the lug bolt -- hard -- with a sledgehammer to break it loose.

An impact wrench may simply do what you are fearful of, and you won't be able to feel it.

I don't envy you. Good luck.