PeachParts Mercedes-Benz Forum - View Single Post - Question for guys who have been through divorce/custody.

Jim B. · #6 09-25-2013, 03:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stretch

I'm more or less in the same boat at the moment. Here in Holland I am told that the courts look favourably on both parents if they have accepted and been through a process of partnership therapy.

My advice is to agree to partnership therapy so long as it is with an accredited therapist - there's no use going to see some witch doctor who's done an online course. Furthermore I think it is only correct that an independent therapist who has no knowledge so far of the situation should be chosen. I have yet to meet a therapist who behaves in an independent professional manner =>

reality is that as a man you are at a major disadvantage if you want to see your kids. The whole system is geared to the benefit of the mother - no matter what she does or what she has done. This is a first world sickness. It is totally sexist. It is completely unreasonable

Totally agree with this, as I personally am a living testament to that kind of treatment.

I truly hope that she does not decide to use the ULTIMATE atomic bomb on you:

A false accusation that you abused the children.

How can you PROVE the negative?

That never happened to me, because I would not let it. I had to decide to NEVER have children because of this. A Hobson's choice, I think it is called.

Agree with the comments made about counseling, but it needs to be a neutral, disinterested and qualified therapist _ NOT one SHE is already seeing.

Marriage itself to me is God's sacrament, something to be exalted and revered; I always felt that way and still do.

BUT: The Courts in the USA have imposed a horrible template on top of it, designed to totally ruin the life of the male divorcing partner.

It happens every day, regardless of culpability.

And every female is aware of it, not that all of them take full advantage of it.

Get the best lawyer you can find, If it is a good one, MAYBE you stand a chance.

But I am not optimistic, though I wish your friend well.