About a year or so ago, I had the misfortune of going to check out a W114 with my sort-of-brother-in-law. It looked magnificent in pictures, but based on the seller's description, it sounded like it needed a head gasket. Other than that, the seller informed us that the car was "flawless." He was asking $4,000.

Upon arrival, things were not as they seemed. For one, the exterior was a cheap respray with cracks already forming in the paint. The seller had conveniently photographed the car from only the driver's rear, since it turned out the grille was smashed in and the front right fender was crumpled.

We immediately discovered that the air conditioner didn't work because the condenser was punctured, though the seller was convinced it was because "the head gasket needs did." As to why it needed a jump to start it not more than 5 minutes after killing the engine? 'Cause the head gasket needs did. Why it wouldn't shift out of park? 'Cause the head gasket needs did. Why did it just randomly conk out and refuse to start again? You guessed it, 'cause the head gasket needs did.

But, the best part was when he produced the folder with the car's service history. In there was a recent sheet outlining some brake work, a bit of wiring repair, and... a new head gasket.

"So... this is an estimate for all this work?"
"Nah, I paid that ****, I paid all that *****."
"So, the head gasket was just replaced?"
"Nah, it need the head gasket did."
"So this sheet is just an estimate?"
"Nah, I paid that *****, it's all did."
"So, where it says 'head gasket repair' on here, that's something you had done?"
"Yeah, I did all that *****."
"So why is the head gasket leaking?"
"'Cause it need the head gasket did."
"So why don't you take it back to the shop that did the head gasket and have them warranty it out, since it's failed again?"
"Nah, I ain't done the head gasket yet."
"THIS SHEET: IS THIS AN ESTIMATE, OR DID YOU HAVE ALL THIS WORK, INCLUDING THE HEAD GASKET THAT IS LISTED HERE DONE!?"
"Yeah, I paid all that *****, it all did."

As I recall, we put a couple of particular fingers in his face and left.