You remind me of some of the things I do with my cars. I also make it a habit to limit turning the wheels from lock to lock with the car NOT moving. The load is great as you can testify to by trying to turn the wheels with the engine off. It's real hard to turn.
You though, must get excellent gas mileage with the way you drive and I agree there is no sense driving any faster if the light ahead is red or you know it's going to be red.
But, as in all things balance and common sense is needed.
If you spend all your driving time thinking about how to drive to preserve the car in every way, it may just cause you much more stress than any "stress" you might save the car from. These cars are meant to be driven with the enjoyment of driving. They are there to serve you, not you them. I think it has been summed up very well that the key to keeping your car performing like new is to be strict in following the maintenance schedule. Never slack on oil changes or any other fluids for that matter.
One last note in regards to the kickdown position, IMHO not being an engineer of drivetrains, it would seem to me that flooring the accelerator when the car is standing still to take off quickly is many times a greater load on the entire drivetrain than simply cruising at 60 mph and engaging the kickdown to reach 80 in passing another vehicle because momentum is already moving you. Don't worry about the kickdown, it's better if the engine revs a little rather than be loaded down at low rpm's.
I drive a 95 E420 and it brings a smile to my face when kickdown engages. And my old 1976 Cadillac Seville sees kickdown nearly everyday and it's still on it's ORIGINAL drivetrain 27 years later.
I'll conclude with NEVER SLACK ON MAINTENANCE.
96 Lincoln Mark VIII 59K
95 Mercedes E420 43K
76 Cadillac Seville 183K