You are so right to be concerned about lug nuts.
About a year ago, on my prior Benz, Had lug nuts tightened too much. They literally had to blow-torch off the wheels, and then replace them. Costly, and extremely inconvenient. Especially if you have a blow-out and can't get the spare on, 'cause the wheel won't come off.
I was advised NOT to use anti-seize on the studs. That this actually can fuse the wheels on. And I completely agree with you about hand-torqueing. Very important.
Finally, this advice: try, if possible, not to work on a hot wheel. this will only make matters worse.
Consider this all the comments & advice of one who went through a horror story with this issue.