Hello Justin!
There is no relay. All switches are wired into the pump. When the FL locking element is undone from the rod, simulate the up-down action. Be careful with the locking sleeve for the rod; avoid pulling it up. It's difficult to open without the rod installed.
Now, if the connector is installed properly, it should easily lock/unlock. Note that it is even possible to push the connector in with the end twisted by 120/240 degree !! The element wont lock the connector properly then, but I've seen it!
Check it and get back.
All the best,
Dokta