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Old 05-30-2005, 08:48 PM
MedMech
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Posts: n/a
COMMERCIAL DIALOGUE

[MAN speed-dials phone and is immediately connected.]

DELL: Dell Service and Support, can I help you?

MAN: You're there.

DELL: Yessir, we're here 24/7.

MAN: 24/7/365?

DELL: 365.

MAN: What about leap year?

DELL: 366.

MAN: What about Arbor Day?

DELL: Yessir, we're here on Arbor Day.

MAN: Hannukah?

DELL: We're here.

MAN: Cinco de Mayo?

DELL: Aqui.

MAN: What?

DELL: Here ... it's uh, it's Spanish. It was a joke. We're here.

MAN: Plague?

DELL: Here.

MAN: Pestilence?

DELL: Here.

MAN: Locusts?

DELL: Uh ... locusts?

MAN: Yeah, like a horde of locusts coming down your street.

DELL: Yessir, someone will be here for you.

MAN: Good night.

DELL: Good night, sir.

MAN: I'll call you in an hour.
__________________________________________________________________ ACTUAL DIALOGUE

[I have to navigate 18 keypresses of phone menus before I can find someone to help me. Finally I am connected with an Indian fellow.]

DELL: Thank you for calling Dell. My name is Hardik, may I have your service code?

ME: You're there.

DELL: Yes, my name is Hardik, may I have your service code?

ME: You're there.

DELL: I'm there, my name is Hardik, you've reached Dell technical support. OK, thank you, goodbye?

ME: Hello, Hardik?

DELL: Yes? I am needing your first and last name?

ME: 24/7?

DELL: Yeah.

ME: 24/7/365?

DELL: Hmm? Yes, yeah.

ME: What about leap year?

DELL: Yeah, yeah, we do work on leap year too. May I have your first and last name?

ME: What about Arbor Day?

DELL: Yeah, that day too. May I have your name?

ME: Hannukah?

DELL: Yeah. What is your name, sir?

ME: Cinco de Mayo?

DELL: [Thinking this is my name] Sorry? Can you spell it?

ME: C-I-N-C-O.

DELL: Uh, stinko? OK, fine, also I need your service code number, it's found on a white tag on the back of the computer, 5 to 7 digits long.

ME: Plague?

DELL: The numbers are printed on a white tag on the back of your PC.

ME: Pestilence?

DELL: Sorry?

ME: Locusts?

DELL: Uh huh.

ME: Like a horde of locusts coming down your street?

DELL: OK, actually you've reached Dell technical support, may I know your problem?

ME: Um, there's no problem.

DELL: Nothing at all?

ME: No.

DELL: OK, so may I know the reason that you're calling to me?

ME: I just wanted to make sure you were here.

DELL: Oh, don't worry. We're here.

ME: And "here" is where?

DELL: Sorry?

ME: Where are you located, Hardik?

DELL: India. A city called Mumbai.

ME: That's a pretty loose definition of "Here," but I guess we're on the same planet, Hardik.

DELL: OK.

ME: I'll call you in an hour.
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