well, this will not be a long-term review. i found the audi a8l quattro to be just another bit of teutonic junk. too many gewgaws. the car cannot be operated at all without spending an hour studying the manual. so, first hour of the rental was spent in the hertz lot.

most obnoxious aspect of the car is that with the engine running, which it must be if you are to operate the goddam computer system, required even for tuning the radio. even with the car in park, you must be strapped in. if you aren't - ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. and it is a loud and obnoxious ding.

and it does it if you release your belt before turning off the ignition in a parking lot. if i had been packing heat, there would have been a round in the dash.

driver's seat...broke my back. seemed comfortable for a short dealer demo. but from lax to bevhills in rush hour traffic, could not find a way to make it comfortable.

the absolutely ultimate nonsense was the locking system. either broken or inherently defective. annunciated a successful locking, NOT. had i not checked the doors, good chance that i would have left the car with all my belongings and returned to find everything GONE.

OK, another 45 minutes studying manual. no published methodology for locking this car would work.

call to hertz roadside assistance. no one there knew anything about the locking system, but she said that she would study the manual and get back to me. when she did, we did all that i had done previously. to no avail.

because i had a sensation that teutonic computerization of autos had the potential for disaster, i had backstopped the audi rez with a rez for my normal booking in LA, a jaguar J8. as simple to operate as all my old benzes[1986 560sel, 1987 560sec, 1995 e320cab, 1997 c140, 1979 6.9].

so hertz sent out the jag[and did me the favor of making it a J8L] and picked up the audi.

just returned from my sister's place in brentwood to my hotel off of sunset. i must say that the jag has a more linear throttle response and the jag slap tranny is better. of course, i am rentally familiar with this vehicle.

dear lord, hear my prayer, please tell these people who design and build these cars to live with them. and to all of you out there who think you might want to own one, find a way to live with one for more than 15 minutes. i am finding that familiarity with this current crop of vehicles breeds nothing but contempt.