if you see oil around the exhaust manifold then the v/c gaskets need replacing. new must be used. as far as i'm concerned any addative that swells seals is a no no. short term remidy with long term damage.
the bolts have a torque value but i just snug 'em up. criss cross the bolts
while slowly snugging 'em up. also the gasket doesn't like staying on
the v/c so your gonna need a lot of patience. also once you got them on see if the cover rocks. if it does then the gasket came off somewhere.
besides, what does being a girl have to do with anything??

george