My heart goes out to you. You and the wife need to do what is called tough love. You have to be hard on her and make her realize you are not going to tolerate the lying/stealing.

My oldest son (16) started his years worth of live in re-hab this past Wednesday. He had been to court 5 times within about a year and a half, spent two months in YDC and after that the state took custody of him. His problem was cocaine/pot but the lying started about a year before the drugs. I'm hoping getting him away from the wife and in the rehab will turn him around. She still thinks he is awesome and is her precious baby. I told her until she is as hard on him as I am and learns to tell him NO then he will probably not change.

Oh yea, there was stealing going on around the house to obtain $ to purchase cocaine with.

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Jim