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Old 03-30-2009, 12:28 AM
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 39
The Stuck Key

Cars – women – they are all the same: treat them the right way and they are happy.
Let me fill in the details. Two days ago my 27 year old diesel Mercedes (that runs on vegetable oil) would not start. I couldn’t get the key to turn. I spent hours jiggling the key, jiggling the steering wheel, jiggling the key and the steering wheel, but I couldn’t get the tumbler to release. I went to the repair manual to see what the solution would be. It didn’t look good. If I couldn’t get the key to move I would have to drill out the cylinder and most likely have to replace the whole ignition lock for about $300. Being on a tight budget I had to find another way. After my wife and our son got off the computer for the night it was my turn. I spent hours looking over different sites with many suggestions, from open your wallet and have the dealership fix it, to taking an orbital sander and try and shake the cylinder. It was getting to be about 3 a.m. and the little sleep I need I needed. The next day I got to thinking we always associate women and cars. So I went into the house and picked up a back massage machine that you slid onto your hand. I discretely went to the garage and closed the door. I would have a difficult time explaining to my neighbors what I was doing. I got in the car, sprayed a PAL (personal automobile lubricant) in the cylinder, put the key in the ignition, slid the vibrating back massager on my hand and turned it on.
Then I placed my trembling hand on the key…..
and And AND OH Yes !!!!! The key turned on.
Now I truly understand the meaning of AUTO EROTICA.
At this point I was laughing so hard my eyes were full of tears. I went back in the house and told my wife. She was in the middle of writing an article and had to stop because her eyes were so full of tears she couldn’t see the monitor. I went down later to use the car, but when I got in I was laughing so hard I had to get out and use the pick-up.

I thought you would enjoy this true story

Marshall Norstein
Maplewood, New Jersey
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Old 03-30-2009, 12:33 AM
Jeremy5848's Avatar
Registered Biodiesel User
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Sonoma Wine Country
Posts: 8,394
I have read about this technique before but your way of expressing it makes the story so much better. Thanks for the contribution.

"Buster" in the '95

Our all-biodiesel family
1995 E300D (W124) . .239,000 miles My car
1996 E300D (W210) . .313,000 miles Wife's car
Santa Rosa population 170,685 (2012)
Total. . . . . . . . . . . . 722,685
"Oh lord won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz."
-- Janis Joplin, October 1, 1970
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Old 03-30-2009, 08:06 AM
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Nashua, NH
Posts: 3,956
Great just don't forget to remove the tumbler before you take the key out might not be so lucky next time!
Marty D.

2013 C300 4Matic
1984 BMW 733i
2013 Lincoln MKz
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Old 03-30-2009, 10:43 AM
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Mountains in South Carolina
Posts: 703
Very well written. Very funnie too. Plus I learned something but I forgot what it was.
1982 300SD
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Old 06-26-2009, 05:43 AM
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 36
is it acceptable to drive with a bypassed ignition lock assembly?

is it acceptable to drive with a bypassed ignition lock assembly?the ignition key in my '82 w123 (240d) failed to work. i took advice (thank you!!!) on grinding down the pin potruding into the steering column. regardless the key still did not work! i bypassed the system by removing the vacuum lines and plugging them before starting...
glowplugs don't work but a squirt of WD40 does it everytime... I just short connectors on starter ad it comes right up
and unplugging the vacuum lines to kill the car!

my question is will continued use in this state cause any damage to the electrical sys or otherwise???

thank you for any input!
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