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  #1  
Old 03-30-2009, 12:28 AM
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The Stuck Key

Cars – women – they are all the same: treat them the right way and they are happy.
Let me fill in the details. Two days ago my 27 year old diesel Mercedes (that runs on vegetable oil) would not start. I couldn’t get the key to turn. I spent hours jiggling the key, jiggling the steering wheel, jiggling the key and the steering wheel, but I couldn’t get the tumbler to release. I went to the repair manual to see what the solution would be. It didn’t look good. If I couldn’t get the key to move I would have to drill out the cylinder and most likely have to replace the whole ignition lock for about $300. Being on a tight budget I had to find another way. After my wife and our son got off the computer for the night it was my turn. I spent hours looking over different sites with many suggestions, from open your wallet and have the dealership fix it, to taking an orbital sander and try and shake the cylinder. It was getting to be about 3 a.m. and the little sleep I need I needed. The next day I got to thinking we always associate women and cars. So I went into the house and picked up a back massage machine that you slid onto your hand. I discretely went to the garage and closed the door. I would have a difficult time explaining to my neighbors what I was doing. I got in the car, sprayed a PAL (personal automobile lubricant) in the cylinder, put the key in the ignition, slid the vibrating back massager on my hand and turned it on.
Then I placed my trembling hand on the key…..
and And AND OH Yes !!!!! The key turned on.
Now I truly understand the meaning of AUTO EROTICA.
At this point I was laughing so hard my eyes were full of tears. I went back in the house and told my wife. She was in the middle of writing an article and had to stop because her eyes were so full of tears she couldn’t see the monitor. I went down later to use the car, but when I got in I was laughing so hard I had to get out and use the pick-up.

I thought you would enjoy this true story

Sincerely,
Marshall Norstein
Maplewood, New Jersey
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  #2  
Old 03-30-2009, 12:33 AM
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I have read about this technique before but your way of expressing it makes the story so much better. Thanks for the contribution.
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"Buster" in the '95

Our all-biodiesel family
1995 E300D (W124) . .239,000 miles My car
1996 E300D (W210) . .313,000 miles Wife's car
Santa Rosa population 170,685 (2012)
Total. . . . . . . . . . . . 722,685
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Old 03-30-2009, 08:06 AM
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Great story...now just don't forget to remove the tumbler before you take the key out again...you might not be so lucky next time!
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Marty D.

2013 C300 4Matic
1984 BMW 733i
2013 Lincoln MKz
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Old 03-30-2009, 10:43 AM
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Very well written. Very funnie too. Plus I learned something but I forgot what it was.
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Old 06-26-2009, 05:43 AM
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is it acceptable to drive with a bypassed ignition lock assembly?

is it acceptable to drive with a bypassed ignition lock assembly?the ignition key in my '82 w123 (240d) failed to work. i took dieselgiant.com advice (thank you!!!) on grinding down the pin potruding into the steering column. regardless the key still did not work! i bypassed the system by removing the vacuum lines and plugging them before starting...
glowplugs don't work but a squirt of WD40 does it everytime... I just short connectors on starter ad it comes right up
and unplugging the vacuum lines to kill the car!

my question is will continued use in this state cause any damage to the electrical sys or otherwise???

thank you for any input!
john
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