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  #1  
Old 04-19-2011, 08:00 PM
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Hamilton Ontario Canada
Posts: 394
check this amazing ad out - you wont be dissapointed

http://ontario.kijiji.ca/c-cars-vehicles-cars-trucks-1998-Subaru-Impreza-Wagon-W0QQAdIdZ268172820

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  #2  
Old 04-19-2011, 08:10 PM
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Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: cheeseland
Posts: 275
That's the best used car ad I've ever read. This guy is hilarious Can't say I've ever thought of a Subaru in that light, but hey, he's trying to sell it.
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'85 300D - 206K (sold)
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  #3  
Old 04-20-2011, 03:36 AM
Stretch's Avatar
...like a shield of steel
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Somewhere in the Netherlands
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Wow this one is popular

forget optomistic paint job, check this write up out
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1992 W201 190E 1.8 171,000 km - Daily driver
1981 W123 300D ~ 100,000 miles / 160,000 km - project car stripped to the bone
1965 Land Rover Series 2a Station Wagon CIS recovery therapy!
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I'm here to chat about cars and to help others - I'm not here "to always be right" like an internet warrior



Don't leave that there - I'll take it to bits!
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  #4  
Old 04-20-2011, 12:21 PM
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Location: Seattle
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That's more of a womens car. lol
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  #5  
Old 04-20-2011, 12:34 PM
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Location: The People's Republic of Arlington, VA
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Yeah, that's a funny ad. Some people can be so creative, even in a used car ad . . .
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1998 Lincoln Continental - Sold
Max 1984 300TD 285,000 miles - Sold
The Dee8gonator 1987 560SEC 196,000 miles - Sold
Orgasmatron - 2006 CLS500 90,000 miles
2002 C320 Wagon 122,000 miles
2016 AMG GTS 12,000 miles
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  #6  
Old 04-27-2011, 04:05 PM
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Location: Near Raleigh, NC
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I have not stopped laughing, every time I think of it....
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  #7  
Old 04-27-2011, 05:06 PM
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Location: Metro Detroit, Michigan
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Oh, my gosh...

OK, let me start off by saying this Impreza is only available for purchase by the manliest of men (or women). My friend, if it was possible for a vehicle to sprout chest hair and a five o'clock shadow, this Subaru would look like Tom Selleck. It is just that manly.

It was never intended to drive to the mall so you can pick up that adorable shirt at Abercrombie & Fitch that you had your eye on. It wasn't meant to transport you to yoga class or Bed Bath and Beyond. No, that's what your Prius is for. If that's the kind of car you're looking for, then just do us all a favor and stop reading right now. This car has been to hell and back, twice, and has the scars to prove it. So if you can't handle being seen behind the wheel of this biblical, fire breathing, dragon slaying, nazi killing hero because it has a few purle hearts, move on.

This wagon was engineered by 3rd degree ninja pirate super-warriors in the highest mountains of Japan to serve the needs of the man that cheats death on a daily basis. They didn't even consider superfluous nancy boy amenities like navigation systems (real men don't get lost), heated leather seats (a real man doesn't let anything warm his butt), or On Star (real men don't even know what On Star is).

No, this brute comes with the things us testosterone-fueled super action junkies need. It has a 137 HP engine to outrun the cops and a 5 speed tranmission so you know grandma wont be taking off with it when your not looking. It's saved my bacon more than once. It's got special blood/gore resistant upholstery. It even has a first-aid kit in the back. You know what the first aid kit has in it? A pint of whiskey, a stitch-your-own-wound kit and a hunk of leather to bite down on when you're operating on yourself.

My price on this bad boy is an incredibly low $2000 but I'll entertain reasonable offers. And by reasonable, I mean don't walk up and tell me you'll give me $500 for it. That's liable to earn you a Burmese-roundhouse-sphincter-kick with a follow up three fingered eye-jab. Would it hurt? Hell yeah. Let's just say you won't be the prettiest guy at the Coldplay concert anymore.

There's only 183 000 km's on this all-wheel drive hellcat from Planet Kickass. Trust me, it will outlive you and the offspring that will carry your name. It will live on as a monument to your machismo.

Now, go look in the mirror and tell me what you see. If it's a rugged, no holds barred, super brute he-man macho Chuck Norris stunt double, then reply to this ad. I might be out hang-gliding or BASE jumping or just chilling with my lady, but leave a message and I'll get back to you. And when I do, we'll talk about a price over a nice glass of Schmidt while we listen to Johnny Cash.

It passed its last e-test and safety with flying colours but is being sold as-is.

God bless
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  #8  
Old 04-27-2011, 10:38 PM
t walgamuth's Avatar
dieselarchitect
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Lafayette Indiana
Posts: 38,632
It sounds like that crazy guy on Napoleon Dynamite who taught kung fu and had the wife who looked like a man but had enormous fake looking whatzits. The guy with the stars and stripes pants.
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..I also have a 427 Cobra replica with an aluminum chassis.
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  #9  
Old 04-28-2011, 09:04 AM
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Location: The People's Republic of Arlington, VA
Posts: 7,193
I'm thinking that might have been written by Charlie Sheen. That sounds like "Sheen-Talk" to me. Only a rock star copy writer from Mars with Tiger blood could come up with stuff like that!

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" We have nothing to fear but the main stream media itself . . . ."- Adapted from Franklin D Roosevelt for the 21st century

OBK #55

1998 Lincoln Continental - Sold
Max 1984 300TD 285,000 miles - Sold
The Dee8gonator 1987 560SEC 196,000 miles - Sold
Orgasmatron - 2006 CLS500 90,000 miles
2002 C320 Wagon 122,000 miles
2016 AMG GTS 12,000 miles
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