New element discovery - PeachParts Mercedes-Benz Forum

Lebenz · #1 01-05-2005, 01:41 AM

A major research institution has recently announced a discovery of the heaviest chemicial element yet known to science. The new element has been tentatively named "Governmentium". Governmentium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons and 11 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepon-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert.

However it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amont of Governmentium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete when it would normally take less than a second.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of four years; it does not decay, but instead undegoes a reoganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, governmentiums's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganizations will cause more morons to be become neutrons forming isodopes. this charscteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate that Governmentium is formed when ever morons reach a certain quanity in concentration. This Hypothetical quanity is refered to as "Critical Morass". You will know it when you see it.

When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium- an element that radaites just as much energy since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

azimuth · #2 01-05-2005, 01:59 AM

this new element can be applied generally

KirkVining · #3 01-05-2005, 09:37 AM

This reminds me of an old joke, which I am sure many of heard, about the tourist who goes to Washington, and tours government offices. He stumbles upon the Immigration and Naturalization Service, where he sees this vast office, with thousands of government workers hurrying about, furiously typing and distributing papers, shouting into phones and the like. In the middle of this sea of governmental humanity sits a worker at his desk, tears streaming down his face, weeping inconsolably. The tourist turns to the INS tourguide and asks him, what has happened to this poor fellow. "Oh," says the guide, "his immigrant died."

boneheaddoctor · #4 01-05-2005, 09:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KirkVining

This reminds me of an old joke, which I am sure many of heard, about the tourist who goes to Washington, and tours government offices. He stumbles upon the Immigration and Naturalization Service, where he sees this vast office, with thousands of government workers hurrying about, furiously typing and distributing papers, shouting into phones and the like. In the middle of this sea of governmental humanity sits a worker at his desk, tears streaming down his face, weeping inconsolably. The tourist turns to the INS tourguide and asks him, what has happened to this poor fellow. "Oh," says the guide, "his immigrant died."

I liked that joke..................