"Men Just Want Mommy" -- Maureen Dowd opinion piece - Page 3 - PeachParts Mercedes-Benz Forum

mikemover · #31 01-17-2005, 03:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by webwench

......and I've seen men who are looking for the exact opposite of mommy, and acting the least bit mommylike sends them running for the hills......

I resemble that remark!

Mike

G-Benz · #32 01-17-2005, 10:30 AM

I will have to agree that humans are far too complex to lump them into personality categories such as "mommy hunters". But there is a bit of truth in the intimidation factor of powerful successful women.

There are at least three here at my job that fit the category of successful single women. My closest business associate is a very attractive 39-year old woman, who seems to scare off potential candidates as soon as they find out she is an intellectual match for them.

I think it's more the domineering aspect of males that drives their choices for mates and not the need to be coddled by a surrogate mom.

I personally found women that weren't my intellectual equal to be extremely boring, regardless of whether her other attributes were attractive to me...

As far as being "served" by a mate...only if she WANTS to do so...

Benzadmiral · #33 01-18-2005, 05:31 PM

Most men, on some unconscious level, look for a woman to have their children. (There are exceptions.) *Of course* he's going to look for a young healthy woman who will be able to bear children. Forty-year-old "career" women won't be able to do that.

Plus, said forty-year-old has spent four decades being indoctrinated into the nonsense that women are automatically damn near perfect, and men are damn near useless except as wallets. She's going to be pretty tough and cynical, and have high expectations -- in fact, she's probably going to want to marry someone who makes more money than she does. For each step up the compensation ladder (for either gender), there are fewer and fewer people who make more than you do, so her dating/marriage pool is vanishingly small. She's finding, all of a sudden, that she can't have it all, and the knowledge is eating at her like a cancer.

Who in his right mind would want to marry a bitter creature who -- even if she will consider you as marriage material -- will probably find fault with everything you do, and blame you for all the world's ills?

I'm sure there are exceptions to this scenario . . . but I don't think that most men are marrying their secretaries because they "want a new mommy."

(On the other hand, what's wrong with being taken care of, if that's what you like, and the other person finds satisfaction in giving it to you?)

aklim · #34 01-18-2005, 06:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by webwench

Depends on the woman and the man.

Here's a case in point: I was on 24/7 call for my job for a couple of years. Not a big deal, I get the occasional phone call about something that is broken, and I have a laptop and high-speed connectivity to log in and deal with it. At the time this started my son was a toddler, and I was a divorced mother. I suppose you would look at the situation and say, I'm not likely to be a good employee in that situation.

Not long into that time period, we hire a guy whose role includes being on call sometimes on a rotating basis with me. We hire him, and shortly aftrewards he marries his fiancee and they start spawning. What do you know? He 'couldn't be on call' because it would interfere with his family life. He was often out because his (nonworking) wife was ill, or one of the kids was ill. He was always coming in late or leaving early for doctors' appointments, or contractors coming out to the house. You almost have to wonder what the stay-at-home wife's 'job' was.

Who was the better hire? Who was more reliable? Who was available off hours?

A couple years later, he was laid off, and I'm still there, so I guess that's my reward. If my boss had put me on some 'mommy track' because I'm female, already a parent, and could marry and start spawning again any day now, well, I'd have been on to a better job opportunity quickly, and I and my new employer would have been glad for it. *shrug*

Yes, it's one instance, and not a sociological study. All I'm saying is, you cannot judge a book by the cover, at least not if you want to have the best people work for you. You take people as individuals, and judge them based on their own behavior and qualities, otherwise you're just running a good old boys' network and hiring people who are just like you, because that's what you're comfortable with.

In your case, you do have a point. What I was saying is that which case is more likely to have a problem. Yes, an MB is better than a Yugo however, MB has produced a few cars whose sole purpose in life is to be crushed into scrap metal.

No one is saying to judge a book by the cover. However, if you see around you that Brand X tends to have 2 breakdowns per year and Brand Y has 1 breakdown ever 3 years, which are you more likely to buy? Assuming you want as little trouble in your lifetime and are not a massochist or someone who enjoys tinkering.

aklim · #35 01-18-2005, 06:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Benzadmiral

Most men, on some unconscious level, look for a woman to have their children. (There are exceptions.) *Of course* he's going to look for a young healthy woman who will be able to bear children. Forty-year-old "career" women won't be able to do that.

Plus, said forty-year-old has spent four decades being indoctrinated into the nonsense that women are automatically damn near perfect, and men are damn near useless except as wallets. She's going to be pretty tough and cynical, and have high expectations -- in fact, she's probably going to want to marry someone who makes more money than she does. For each step up the compensation ladder (for either gender), there are fewer and fewer people who make more than you do, so her dating/marriage pool is vanishingly small. She's finding, all of a sudden, that she can't have it all, and the knowledge is eating at her like a cancer.

Who in his right mind would want to marry a bitter creature who -- even if she will consider you as marriage material -- will probably find fault with everything you do, and blame you for all the world's ills?

I'm sure there are exceptions to this scenario . . . but I don't think that most men are marrying their secretaries because they "want a new mommy."

(On the other hand, what's wrong with being taken care of, if that's what you like, and the other person finds satisfaction in giving it to you?)

Shakespear in the Taming of the Shrew.

I think they go for their secretaries because those women are close at hand and they see them everyday at work, those women might want someone established to take care of them and they want someone who needs them.

#36 01-18-2005, 07:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aklim

However, if you see around you that Brand X tends to have 2 breakdowns per year and Brand Y has 1 breakdown ever 3 years, which are you more likely to buy? Assuming you want as little trouble in your lifetime and are not a massochist or someone who enjoys tinkering.

I don't think comparing individual humans to makes of cars is a winning strategy here

Botnst · #37 01-18-2005, 07:23 PM

Nice bumpers though.

aklim · #38 01-18-2005, 07:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by webwench

I don't think comparing individual humans to makes of cars is a winning strategy here

Well, seems to work for the insurance companies and they are making money so while it is not politically correct, it must make sense on some level. Take 2 men with the same things in their background but one is married and the other is not. The married man gets the lower insurance rate. Now, if going by statistics is not good, why are insurance companies using it and making a profit? Yes, it is not perfect nor is it PC but it is better than nothing.

#39 01-18-2005, 08:00 PM

On the other hand, aklim, bad drivers do pay higher premiums than good drivers, regardless of age or marital status. How is this accounted for in your analogy?

For that matter, black men are more likely statistically to go to prison or be shot by an acquaintance. Does this make it acceptable in your mind to discriminate against black men when hiring?

aklim · #40 01-18-2005, 08:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by webwench

On the other hand, aklim, bad drivers do pay higher premiums than good drivers, regardless of age or marital status. How is this accounted for in your analogy?

For that matter, black men are more likely statistically to go to prison or be shot by an acquaintance. Does this make it acceptable in your mind to discriminate against black men when hiring?

They pay higher premiums because they are more at risk and thus more likely to cause an accident and cost the company money. It is not one factor but a bunch of factors that come together with different weights and scores for each thing that make up the risk.

I am not talking about right and wrong at this point. Insucance companies ahve "redlined" certain areas which are predominantly black because they are a higher risk. Once again, many factors come into play here not just one thing. IF you want to talk of hiring, let me ask you, is it acceptable to use someone's judgement of a person in hiring when you don't know any of them? I mean, what is a reference for? Just because he did well at another place or if he didn't, doesn't mean he won't here? Just because his previous boss thought he sucked or walked on water, doesn't mean the current system will work for him either. Here is a goodie. If you believe in psychology, they say that people who have been molested as children are more likely to molest children when they grow up. So, if you knew this person who came from a family where molestation has taken place quite a bit but he was clean, would you trust him alone with your kids?

koop · #41 01-18-2005, 08:47 PM

Men don't want mommies, they want young women.

Please continue.

aklim · #42 01-18-2005, 08:49 PM

Also, the grass is greener on the other side of the fence till you jump over and find that you have just stepped in a pile of BS. Same stuff as on your side of the fence but different location and different spread.

aklim · #43 01-18-2005, 08:51 PM

On this note, am I wierd because I don't find younger women as attractive as older women? I mean, I'd jump an 18 yo girl's bones but as far as a relationship that leads to something serious, I'd rather find a girl (for now anyways) a few years older than I am. Of course, someday when I am 60, maybe I might feel different but for now, if I were to date a woman for a relationship, I'd go with 40 something since I am 38.