Just wondering if anyone has gone through this and would like to share if it was worth it or if they regret not trying harder.

I know it's personal so you don't have to tell me about YOUR experience but of someone that you know of.

Any wisdom for a young man would be appreciated.

Sounds to me like you regret having been married if you're thinking about divorce.

.02

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Enough about me, how are you doing?

The only regret I have about my divorce is getting married in the first place--dumb. The second time around has been wedded bliss comparatively. Divorce shouldn't be approached lightly because any relationship requires work and constant maintenance, but disfunctional unions can be counterproductive and downright destructive for all involved.

As long as there is an understanding between two partners. Why get married in the first place? 'Tis less a burden to remain single and free than to be tied down to some biblical fantasy dubbed "marriage".

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1987 300SDL (324000)

1986 Porsche 951 (944 Turbo) (166000)

1978 Porsche 924 (99000)

1996 Nissan Pathfinder R50 (201000)

Divorce -- I highly recommend it.

Been there, done that, and the only regret I have is marrying in the first place

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http://webwench.net/albums/new83-300...1700.thumb.jpg
1983 300D-T
348,000 miles

I lived with several women (but not at the same time) over the years. Talked "marriage" with a couple of them, but things always went sour before making the formal commitment.

Thank God!

I didn't get married until I was 40, and I've never been happier. I just could not imagine still being with anyone who I knew while in my 20's.

Good luck...

- Patrick

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1982 240D. 198k, Marine Blue/Blue, 4 Speed, Crank Windows, No Sunroof, No Rust, No Oil Leaks
2001 TDI. 197k, Lagoon Blue/Black, 5 speed, Chip, G60/VR6

I plan to get married when I meet the right person. (I have to dates this week ) Yes, they're with women and they're two different women.

I wish I had married earlier in life (I'll be 40 in a few weeks), but know that none of the girls I dated then would have made a good wife.

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Current:
2014 VW Tiguan SEL 4Motion 43,000 miles.

2016 Hyundai Santa Fe Sport (wife's).

Past:
2006 Jetta TDI 135,970 miles. Sold Nov. '13.
1995 E-320 Special Edition. 220,200 miles. Sold Sept. '07.
1987 190-E 16 valve. 153,000 miles. Sold Feb. '06.
1980 300-D 225,000 miles. Donated to the National Kidney Foundation.
1980 240-D manual, 297,500 miles. Totaled by inattentive driver.

I would say as others have, why get married in the first place? For me I will be finally divorced on February 23, 2005. I was 39 when I got married and maybe I was primed by the long wait. The difficulty of the divorce is also one reason to avoid marriage. It is a difficult thing to do through both emotionally and financially. There are lawyers who specialize in the no-fault type divorce. It is easy fee for them.

Be especially wary if there is a large earning difference between the two of you. The higher wage earner will always get socked with maintenance by the courts. That payment does not seem fair but the courts don't want to put anyone on welfare if they can help it.

Really it is much easier to be nice to one's partner, as an unmarried couple. Things get taken for granted as a married spouse.

You didn't specify what kind of advise you were seeking, but I would say the result of divorce from an incompatible situation is favorable. I spent 11 years in a dead end and it was too long.

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Tom Engel
***********
83 240 230K Manual (8/2003)
83 300D 265K (3/2004)
Just a Driver!

This year my wife and I will celebrate our 28th wedding anniversary.
We have had our ups and downs. rough times, good times. survived college, law school, the bar exam, raising four kids (well, we are still raising them).

If you find the right mate...I highly recommend it.

__________________
Current Benzes

1989 300TE "Alice"
1990 300CE "Sam Spade"
1991 300CE "Beowulf" RIP (06.1991 - 10.10.2007)
1998 E320 "Orson"
2002 C320 Wagon "Molly Fox"

Res non semper sunt quae esse videntur

My Gallery

Not in this weather!

Thanks to all for your advise.

I ususally don't like to talk about my personal life to my friends so OD seems to be my only place I can discuss this matter.

Yes I do regret getting married but I have been trying to make it work for the last few years but I just don't see any light at the end of the tunnel.

If I had no assets, I would walk away in a heart beat but with lots to loose, I really have been hoping that we can work it out. I've been trying.

My complaints are long and don't really want to list them but I do realize that life is short and I am not happy.

But I do have fears of the unknown. My biggest fear is regret. Regret for letting a good woman go, regret for all the pain I will have caused her and her family. Especially if I cannot find a girl as good as my wife.

I sometimes think that most men live in unhappy marriages just for the sake of keeping the family together.
And I also find that many men get remarried after they get a divorce.
So I wonder if staying married is the same as getting a divorce and then getting remarried to someone else which I may be just as unhappy.
If I am gonna end up doing that, I might as well just stay married and keep my assets.

Are you putting a price tag on happiness? How much money would you accept in exchange for lifelong unhappiness? If you have kids, that's something to consider, otherwise I just don't see it...

Sometimes you have to be selfish and think only about your happiness. Forget her family, they may not like you anyway. and you're thinking about them.

The thing I know is that if I am not happy, there is no way I can make others happy.

Would you rather keep all your assets and be unhappy? Or part with some and at least have the chance of being happier?

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Enough about me, how are you doing?

It saddens me to hear so many say they want to avoid marriage, or wish they had avvoided marriage, to save themselves from the pain and problems of a divorce, like it's inevitable and unavoidable. That's just plain sad! And a sad commentary on society.
I realize there's no gaurantees in life, but if that's as high as your expectations are, yes, you're doomed. Don't bother.
Just had our 25th anniversary. Hasn't always been easy. Came close to losing it some years ago. But we pulled it together. It takes....here comes the nasty word.....work! And I don't have one regret, other than the times I got selfish and hurt my wife.
I see too may young'ns jumping into a marriage right off, then wondering why it didn't work out. My wife and I dated for 3 years, didn't live together (and didn't have sex before the marriage, BTW), and were good and sure it was right before we made the commitment.
I'll step off my soap box now. Sorry. This issue just gets me going. Divorce is just too common anymore. If it ain't working, then it ain't working. But I really have to wonder just how hard it's worked at anymore.

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past MB rides:
'68 220D
'68 220D(another one)
'67 230
'84 SD
Current rides:
'06 Lexus RX330
'93 Ford F-250
'96 Corvette
'99 Polaris 700 RMK sled
2011 Polaris Assault
'86 Yamaha TT350(good 'ol thumper)

FWIW, I do work at my marriage and have been wth the same lady for 16 years.

My point is that if all avenues have been exhausted, there is no sense being miserable in a relationship, just to please someone else or their family. At that point, I think you'd have to be emotionally selfish and say Adios.

My mom stayed with my dad for almost 15 years, putting up with all his crap, being miserable and it got her nowhere. He remarried, she stayed alone.


.02

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Enough about me, how are you doing?