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83mercedes 06-26-2005 10:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by koop
I hardly think it narcissistic. Quite the opposite, I would think having kids so you will be remembered and so you can leave a legacy would be closer to narcissism. I think deciding that the world doesn't need a little you is actually a decision made with a certain amount of humility.

Lou Reed had a song lyric that went something along "I want to have kids so another human will think I'm god" while that is certainly an exageration, I do think there is an element of that in some peoples decision. Sort of like the teenage mother who has a kid because "I want someone to love me"

Again, I'm not knocking having kids, I guess someone has to do it. Just not for us. My dogs satisfy my need to be thought of as god like. :D

The question of having kids comes down to your perception of existance as a whole. If you can be content with providing only for yourself or maybe one other person with whom you are engaged in a mutually beneficial relationship, then more power to you. In fact, you are being less selfish by not bringing children into the world. Chidren are an ego crutch, no doubt. But that said, our non-rewritable instincts want us to do selfish things, and we do (i.e. our lifestyles which are dependent on processes which are ruining the planet for future generations), so it is a choice between normalcy (selfishness) and a perceived "right." Ironically, because morals are a construct and not a definite, any individual has no power to say what is or isn't right to anyone else. So, by not having children, you are being more selfless, but in a way in which people will not acknowledge you for it, thereby defeating the purpose.

Or you might just hate kids. :D That's perfectly understandable. I myself think children between the ages of 0 and 10 are largely unbearable.

As far as children making divorces worse--speaking from the perspective of someone whose parents did go through a bloody divorce-- I'd like to think that good things can come of it. You've got to remember, having a kid isn't just obtaining another commodity or item, it's bringing a life into the world. So while you might hate your ex, that doesn't lump any offspring you had with her in as well.


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