| Brian Carlton |
08-07-2005 09:06 PM |
Quote:
Originally Posted by Botnst
You seem awfully passionate here. Am I stepping on some emotionally-charged toes?
Look, I explained about being careful with whom I let my kids visit. When they're really young I walked them to the house where they were to play and either fetched them or the other parent would bring them back. When they got older it was me standing outside watching them walk. (Oh yeah, when I say me, it also means my wife, we're interchangeable parts of the same parental machine). Later, it was a phone call upon arrival and departure. The same pattern repeats with the driver's license. Also, the kids grow-up understanding that there are evil people, especially men between teen-years and advanced age, who will steal them from their parents. And you teach the kid how to deal with problems. You start young and slowly reveal the full truth about evil people as they are more self-aware. By doing this, you give the kid the power of knowledge and rational response.
The chance of the kid getting snatched (the ultimate parental horror, IMO) under those circumstances is present, but vanishingly small. Because of that, the kid increasingly realizes personal responsibility.
So yeah, I know where my kids are. Partly from line of sight (when tehy're young) and later from trust, because I raised responsible, aware, and careful kids who are becoming reasonable, responsible, well-adjusted adults.
Failing to do these things with a child is negligence. If, after having done everything reasonable they still screw-up (and most kids do to some degree, especially in their teen years), it is not due to parental negligence.
Bot
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No, nothing personal here. I'm a bit miffed at the fact that you take a position that says the only responsible thing to do is to watch the kids 24/7 until they are 12 years old.
All of the above statements are entirely true and I agree with them.
The question remains whether you allow an 8 year old to go off and play in the neighbor's yard (presuming you know the neighbor) without any adult supervision. You maintain that it is not acceptable to do this, however, I say that the 8 year old may be out of your sight every so often. These times may include going and coming from school. They might include going and coming from a neighbor's house. They might include riding a bicycle to the store if it is not too far away. These are all things that I did at 8 years of age, and, I'll bet that you did as well. Naturally, there is the issue of gender. You would be more likely to allow an 8 year old boy more latitude than an 8 year old girl, I would assume.
However, my point is very simple:
If you don't watch them, with you own eyes, the eyes of your wife, or the eyes of another parent, 24/7, it is possible that harm can come to them. This is despite what you believe are your best efforts.
And, in contrast to your earlier statements, this is not negligence.
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