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#1
11-23-2005, 01:29 PM
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NEW ELEMENT DISCOVERED: "Governmentium"
A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named Governmentium. Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 deputy neutrons, 75 assistant neutrons, and 224 deputy assistant neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. A minute amount of Governmentium causes a reaction to take 4 days to complete, when it would normally take less than a second. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in whic! h a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, governmentium's mass will actually increase over time since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical Morass. When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.
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Current: 2014 VW Tiguan SEL 4Motion 43,000 miles. 2016 Hyundai Santa Fe Sport (wife's). Past: 2006 Jetta TDI 135,970 miles. Sold Nov. '13. 1995 E-320 Special Edition. 220,200 miles. Sold Sept. '07. 1987 190-E 16 valve. 153,000 miles. Sold Feb. '06. 1980 300-D 225,000 miles. Donated to the National Kidney Foundation. 1980 240-D manual, 297,500 miles. Totaled by inattentive driver. 
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#2
11-23-2005, 01:53 PM
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Loved that the first time I heard it too.....still funny...
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Proud owner of .... 1971 280SE W108 1979 300SD W116 1983 300D W123 1975 Ironhead Sportster chopper 1987 GMC 3/4 ton 4X4 Diesel 1989 Honda Civic (Heavily modified) --------------------- Section 609 MVAC Certified --------------------- "He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." - Friedrich Nietzsche
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#3
11-23-2005, 01:57 PM
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aww got my hopes up for a new element
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#4
11-23-2005, 07:03 PM
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Add some Murthatonium to the witches brew and you get a violent reaction.
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1983 300-D turbo 1985 300-D turbo 1959 Harley Panhead chopper 1929 Ford coupe restored I hang out with Boneheaddoctor at Schuman Automotive OBK#5 All liberals are mattoids but not all mattoids are liberal.
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#5
11-23-2005, 07:18 PM
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Yeah, this has been around for quite a while -- still a classic, though.
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#6
11-23-2005, 07:32 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Proud owner of .... 1971 280SE W108 1979 300SD W116 1983 300D W123 1975 Ironhead Sportster chopper 1987 GMC 3/4 ton 4X4 Diesel 1989 Honda Civic (Heavily modified) --------------------- Section 609 MVAC Certified --------------------- "He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." - Friedrich Nietzsche
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