As we get older,,, and we all may,,,, you presence will be required at the demise of present or former acquaintences. I myself am very sentimental and will tear up at the least sorrowful thing and have a very hard time expressing my sentiments to the survivors. Things are a bit easier for a casual acquaintence, but the closer ones are very tough. Lately I have tried telling a story of a happier time that the deceased and I have shared that the family is not aware of. This always elicits a smile and a sincere "Thank You", that makes the encounter easier for all involved. What do you do ?

__________________
95 SL500 Smoke Silver, Parchment 64K
07 E350 4matic Station Wagon White 34K
02 E320 4Matic Silver/grey 80K
05 F150 Silver 44K

At funerals one chiefly encounters relatives one seldom or never wishes to meet elswhere and someone invariably makes the unwelcome observation"we should get together more often"...........

__________________

"who's that with the nice tits?"

Irreverent S.O.B. I have no problem imagining that is what you would want people to say at your funeral!

At my funeral people will say, "If only Bill Gate had given him that second billion he would have brought peace on Earth, cured cancer, and revealed who was on the grassy knoll."

To answer the original question, "I am sorry for your loss." That acknowledges the pain of others and is not judgmental.

B

At my funeral, there will be booze, hookers, drugs and gambling.

They will say "He may be dead but he sure knows how to party."

__________________
01 Ford Excursion Powerstroke
99 E300 Turbodiesel
91 Vette with 383 motor
05 Polaris Sportsman 800 EFI
06 Polaris Sportsman 500 EFI
03 SeaDoo GTX SC Red
03 SeaDoo GTX SC Yellow
04 Tailgator 21 ft Toy Hauler
11 Harley Davidson 883 SuperLow

Depends on whether you like the person or whether you are there to make sure they are really dead.

If it is the latter and a woman "Ding Dong, the Witch is Dead."
If it is the latter and a man "Here's to you XXX" and pee in the casket

__________________
01 Ford Excursion Powerstroke
99 E300 Turbodiesel
91 Vette with 383 motor
05 Polaris Sportsman 800 EFI
06 Polaris Sportsman 500 EFI
03 SeaDoo GTX SC Red
03 SeaDoo GTX SC Yellow
04 Tailgator 21 ft Toy Hauler
11 Harley Davidson 883 SuperLow

I hate funeral's, along with weddings, and any other such cerimony you can think of.

__________________
1999 SL500
1969 280SE
2023 Ram 1500
2007 Tiara 3200

funerals blow, theres no other way to put it. I've been to two in the past year and that was more than enough for me, one was my dad's best friend and the other was mine. I did the same thing as you though, i told his dad about a funny story that I knew he didn't know about. It revealed a very sincere but very sorrowfull smile, not sure whether it was good or not. Our other friends did the same thing that yeilded the same response. It is natural human instinct to try to cheer people up, i've tried to do it to other people and other people have tried to do it to me, but funerals are a sad time. Sometimes its just best to let the deceased loved one's greive.
Ryan

__________________
83 300SD.......sold
96 integra SE....sold
99 a4 quattro....sold
2001 IS300.......sold
2002 330i.........current.
2004 highlander limited....current.

No parent wants to be at his kids funeral. I think any kind of light-heartedness would be out of place, unless it comes from the parents themselves. Its probably more OK if the person was old and their time was up anyway. Then its just an acceptance of the natural order of things.

__________________
1985 380SE Blue/Blue - 230,000 miles
2012 Subaru Forester 5-speed
2005 Toyota Sienna
2004 Chrysler Sebring convertible
1999 Toyota Tacoma

I'm not sure how to take that B; in any case I mourn the death of a young soul and say good job to anyone that stood the test of time.

"cousin"

Should've put a smiley in there. Never could figure those things out.

I mean something like this: Some people like a very solemn, reverent funeral and other people like a rowdy one. I've been to both and honestly, I think my preference depends on what I know of the deceased.

One of my best friends is a retired Gunny Sgt and Vietnam veteran. He told me that when his favorite uncle, a NOLA channel-Irishman who moved-out in the 1930's, died one cold winter that they had a wake at his home inside of the levee in Point Coupee Parish, LA. They had his uncle all waxed-up nice and pretty in the small shotgun, heated by the crowd, lots of local whiskey and a fire roaring in the fireplace. It got so hot from the fire and "toasting", that his uncle's wax started melting so they carried the casket out on the porch to chill and solidify the wax. They drank to his life and death until he cooled down and then brought him back inside. That went on until almost daylight. Then they carried him into St Francisville and buried him behind the old Episcopal Church.

I'd have liked to have been there.

I also remember my Dad's funeral, which was nearly polar-opposite to that. It was a very formal military affair with his senior ROTC students as his pallbearers. I still remember those cadets, teary-eyed if you looked close, yet stoic as a detail.

It depends on the deceased and his or her style.

Me too. I usually try to let the parent/spouse/sibling/child of the dead person that they will be missed and meant something to me. A story about them, even one they know, is a good way to do that if you can think of one. If you can't think of anything along those lines you're in Carleton's shoes.

__________________
-Marty

1986 300E 220,000 miles+ transmission impossible
(Now waiting under a bridge in order to become one)

Reading your M103 duty cycle:
http://www.peachparts.com/shopforum/831799-post13.html
http://www.peachparts.com/shopforum/831807-post14.html

A young persons funeral is something totally different,,,, I should have said that. No jokes or lightheartedness for me there. Those are terrible times.

__________________
95 SL500 Smoke Silver, Parchment 64K
07 E350 4matic Station Wagon White 34K
02 E320 4Matic Silver/grey 80K
05 F150 Silver 44K

You and me both.........