Handy phrases in English - PeachParts Mercedes-Benz Forum

Botnst · #1 10-17-2006, 10:42 AM

Handy phrases in English

1. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

2. How about never? Is never good for you?

3. I see you've set aside this special time to publicly humiliate yourself.

4. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.

5. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?

6. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of ****.

7. I'm out of my mind at the moment, but feel free to leave a message.

8. I don't work here - I'm a consultant.

9. It sounds like English, but I don't understand a damn word you're saying.

10. Ahhh. I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.

11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.

12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

13. I have plenty of talent and vision - I just don't give a damn.

14. I'm already visualising the duct tape over your mouth.

15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks?

20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of karma to burn off.

22. And your cry-baby whiny assed opinion would be?

23. Do I look like a f..ing people person to you?

24. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

25. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.

26. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

27. If I throw a stick, will you leave?

28. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

29. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

30. Oh, I get it. Like humor. Only different.

31. A cubicle is just a padded cell without the door.

32. Can I trade this job for what's behind door number 1?

33. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

34. Nice perfume, but must you marinate in it?

35. Chaos, panic and disorder - my work here is finally done.

36. How do I set a laser printer to stun.

37. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary.

38. I'll try being nicer if you try being smarter.

39. Wait a minute - I'm just trying to imagine you with a personality.

Diesel4me · #2 10-17-2006, 11:52 AM

ah, just what we need, a list of put-downs.

riethoven · #3 10-17-2006, 12:02 PM

Hello Bot,

Which one would you say to yourself? Have you been taking diplomacy lessons? Do you use these sayings directly to peoples faces, or only from behind the monitor?

Botnst · #4 10-17-2006, 12:07 PM

Whoa, harsh crowd this morning.

B

Carleton Hughes · #5 10-17-2006, 01:31 PM

Are you a self-made man or can we blame somebody else.

Stay with me awhile,I want to be alone.

He's an intellectual,he can bore you on any subject.

BobK · #6 10-17-2006, 01:59 PM

Every week, before our Wednesday morning staff meeting, I put some quote up on the white board. I'll have material for months.

Plantman · #7 10-17-2006, 02:11 PM

FOck you, you focking fock! Ha!

Hattie will be sending me a warning.

kbannister · #8 10-17-2006, 07:12 PM

If I wanted to screw it up, I would have asked for your input

Keep on trying, it is just another excuse for failure

t walgamuth · #9 10-17-2006, 07:19 PM

he is educated beyond his intelligence.

(this one is heard a lot from repairmen doing work for any (almost) college professor.

sometimes it is true.

tom w

Jim H · #10 10-17-2006, 08:43 PM

I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

Jim H · #11 10-17-2006, 08:43 PM

I like your approach. Can I see your departure?

retmil46 · #12 10-18-2006, 12:43 AM

Yeah, he's a PHD - post hole digger.

(Used by the maintenance staff at Davidson College to describe a snobbish professor, and most often, the dean himself).

mgburg · #13 10-18-2006, 04:33 PM

1.) She's as sharp as a thimble in a sewing basket...
2.) He's a few bricks short of a complete foundation...
3.) He's as bright as a night-light at a Friday night football game...
4.) He'd have a problem hitting the broad side of barn even if he were inside it...
5.) When they were handing out brains...he was in the bathroom trying to figure which end the hat went on...
6.) Even if he had the ladder, an assistant and the light-bulb, he'd still be asking a blonde for instructions on how to change the bulb...
7.) If they were any "blonder" - would the D.O.T. give them an extra license?
8.) Hey! I acted just like that when I had my first beer!
9.) You make the best argument for abortion!
10.) The clue to who's the best "suck-up" in the office? Look for "Ring-Around-The-Neck" or a.k.a. the "Office Loon" ...-

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Larry Delor · #14 10-18-2006, 05:12 PM

When they were handing out brains, he understood "trains", and said: Better give me a slow one.

Benzadmiral · #15 10-19-2006, 11:10 AM

.
"If that's an example of his family, they should all just book time on Jerry Springer right now."

"Someone let me know when she dies. I don't care to stand in the line to p*** on her grave until I'm sure it'll be moving."

“This party's about as pleasant as turning a Komodo dragon loose in a petting zoo.”

"He's got a 'full six-pack' but lacks the plastic thing to hold it together."

"She was so fat the travel agent told her it would be easier to bring Europe to her."

"In the pinball game of life, his flippers are a little too far apart."
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