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  #1  
Old 10-27-2006, 11:26 AM
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Location: North central Texas
Posts: 2,588
Why you never see a man's letter to "Dear Abby"!!!

Why you never see a man's letter to "Dear Abby"!!!





Dear Abby,

I've never written to you before, but I really need your advice on what
could be a crucial decision. I've suspected for some time now that my
wife has been cheating on me.

The usual signs... phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up.
My wife has been going out with the girls a lot recently although when I
ask their names she always says, "Just some friends from work you don't know them."


I always stay awake to look out for her taxi coming home, but she always walks down the drive.

Although I can hear a car driving off, as if she has gotten out of the car round the corner. Why?


Maybe she wasn't in a taxi? I once picked her cell phone up just to see what time it was and she went berserk and screamed that I should never touch her phone again and why was I checking up on her.


Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife. I think deep
down I just didn't want to know the truth, but last night she went out
again and I decided to really check on her.

I decided I was going to park my Harley Davidson motorcycle next to
the garage and then hide behind it so I could get a good view of the whole
street when she came home. It was at that moment, crouching behind my
Harley, that I noticed that the valve covers on my engine seemed to be
leaking a little oil.

Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the
dealer?

Thanks,

Bob

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  #2  
Old 10-27-2006, 11:32 AM
MattBelliveau's Avatar
Gotta another one...
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: NE Ohio
Posts: 1,685
:d
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1989 300E 144K
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  #3  
Old 10-27-2006, 11:21 PM
ForcedInduction
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Good one.
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  #4  
Old 10-29-2006, 05:37 PM
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What knockers!
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: There castle.
Posts: 41,621
John Prine's take:

Dear Abby, Dear Abby ...
My feet are too long
My hair's falling out and my rights are all wrong
My friends they all tell me that I've no friends at all
Won't you write me a letter, Won't you give me a call
Signed Bewildered

Bewildered, Bewildered...
Chorus:
You have no complaint
You are what your are and you ain't what you ain't
So listen up Buster, and listen up good
Stop wishing for bad luck and knocking on wood

Dear Abby, Dear Abby...
My fountain pen leaks
My wife hollers at me and my kids are all freaks
Every side I get up on is the wrong side of bed
If it weren't so expensive I'd wish I were dead
Signed Unhappy
Unhappy, Unhappy...

Repeat Chorus

Dear Abby, Dear Abby...
You won't believe this
But my stomach makes noises whenever I kiss
My girlfriend tells me It's all in my head
But my stomach tells me to write you instead
Signed Noise-maker
Noise-maker, Noise-maker

Repeat Chorus

Dear Abby, Dear Abby...
Well I never thought
That me and my girlfriend would ever get caught
We were sitting in the back seat just shooting the breeze
With her hair up in curlers and her pants to her knees
Signed Just Married
Just Married, Just Married...

Repeat Chorus
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An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and
no sense of responsibility at the other'
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  #5  
Old 10-30-2006, 02:31 PM
Wes Bender's Avatar
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Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Alpine, AZ / Green Valley, AZ
Posts: 733
Bot, somehow I knew you would beat me to that......

John Prine's great! I've got his anthology on CD.

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