Hilarious Joke

[iceman3876]

With the upcoming high school wrestling matches between rival schools, the coach warns all of his wrestlers that he needs a volunteer to wrestle the largest wrestler in high school history and simply take a 3-count as soon as the gigantic Russian wrestler gets them in a signature move of his.

“Before I get a volunteer to take one for the team, I must say that this is the largest, meanest Russian wrestler I have ever seen in my born days” and he went on to explain that the Russian wrestler had a move called the “pretzel move.”

He went on to explain that no competitor had ever gotten out of the match ending move.

With that being said, he called for volunteers.

Not surprisingly, no hands rose.

Reluctantly, the weakest, nerdish, acne-faced freshman stood up. “I’ll do it coach” the weaklings voice cracked.

On the day of the match, one by one the wrestlers entered the arena. To the dread of the weakling, the Russian emerged towering 7’ 2” and a muscular 340lb frame. The Russian throws off his face guard and yells “who do I get to tear apart, from limb to limb and leave nothing but a pile of feathers?” The weakling stood up with knees trembling and urine trickling down his legs. With his voice cracking and his demise for certain, the weakling remark “me.”

The referee explained the rules to the wrestlers. Then the match began.

The Russian pounced on the weakling like a runaway freight train. Within 30 seconds he had the weakling in “the pretzel move.”

The referee began his count….one….two…. and like a miracle the weakling sprung up 5 feet and landed on his feet leaving the Russian in a confused state.
The weaklings coach, amazed as ever, called a timeout and motioned for the weakling to come over and explain what had just happened.

Walking over, the weakling was sweating profusely, dizzy at best and looking like he had just been hit by a semi.

The coach slaps the kid across the shoulders and asks, “how in the world did you spring straight up from the most lethal wrestling move ever invented?”

“Well, alls I can tell you coach is this…When that Russian got me in the pretzel move, I looked up and saw the biggest set of testicles I have ever seen in my life and I just gnawed into them…and coach you’d be surprised how far you can jump when you bite your own nuts.

[Larry Delor]

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the
pharmacy, right up to the pharmacist, looked straight
into his eyes and said, "I would like to buy some
cyanide."


The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you
need cyanide?"

The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."

The pharmacist eyes got big and he exclaimed,
"Lord have mercy! I can't give you
cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the
law! I'll loose my license!

They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad
things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"


The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a
picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied,
"Well now, that's different.
You didn't tell me you had a prescription."