Emergency Farting
 

Flatulence, not turbulence forces plane landing in Nashville


American Flight 1053, from Washington Reagan National Airport and bound for Dallas/Fort Worth, made an emergency landing here after passengers reported smelling struck matches, said Lynne Lowrance, a spokeswoman for the Nashville International Airport Authority.

The plane landed safely. The FBI, Transportation Safety Administration and airport authority responded to the emergency, Lowrance said.

The passengers and five crew members were brought off the plane, together with all the luggage, to go through security checks again. Bomb-sniffing dogs found spent matches.

The FBI questioned a passenger who admitted she struck the matches in an attempt to conceal body odor, Lowrance said. The woman lives near Dallas and has a medical condition.

The flight took off again, but the woman was not allowed back on the plane.

"American has banned her for a long time," Lowrance said.

She was not charged but could have been. While it is legal to bring as many as four books of paper safety matches onto an aircraft, it is illegal to strike a match in an airplane, Lowrance said.

By Samuel Shu, The Tennessean

Similar thing happened to my brother in law last year. He was flying home to CA and started getting terrible pains in his gut. The stewardess made him lay down in the galley and they found a doctor on board. The doc diagnosed acute appendicitis and said he needed immediate medical care. As the plane came down for an emergency landing in Minneapolis, he started his rendition of Blazing Saddles. By the time they got to the gate, he was perfectly fine. Needless to say, the plane left Minneapolis without him.

Classic for sure.

I remember a Delta flight I was on where the head stewardess was chewing out some greenhorn stewardess for farting on the plane. That was pretty funny.

I can’t count how many times we’ve had pax start cussing each other out for that. Good thing is, the air flow is not towards the cockpit. A nasty rip can often cause quite a scenario in a private jet. Up front - we just try to act like we haven’t a clue. Sometimes trying hard not to laugh our asses off.

A few years back we did have one that made it up front while hauling a few business big wigs and their wives. I wasn’t there, but I know Shelby turned around and asked if the coffee pot was getting too hot (The pot is just aft of the cockpit). That didn’t go over too good. We laugh about it now though. Everytime one of us does it, there’s often a coffee remark.

*** Time to activate those charcoal air-filters! ***
 

Just ask who brought on the "barking spiders!" :eek:

Well...
 

... so much for like'n buckwheat.

BTW - Cabin air never goes through any fuel heat exchangers.

Wouldn't it have been better to wait it out in the bathroom? It would have smelled awful for her but either way that's risky lighting sulfur laden matches to chance being arrested.

Heyyyyyyyyy it's all about ball bearings these days! You guys missed your refresher course?

Fly in an unpressurized aircraft and you're gonna fart. It's only a question of detection -- can you sneak it out or will it roar and buck?

Thanks MM
 

Med;
Thanks for the link.
My main man Fletch !!
One (two actually) of my favorites for sure.
We've flown C.C. around the country quite a few times. We've often chated about the "Fletch Flicks". Some of his best.
Of course - all of us here, love that sceen.
Thanks again.

Yes...but.
 

Yes - But always keep one fact in mind:
It’s not the intensity. It’s the density.

I was going to say that when someone farts on a C-130 every rushes in for warmth. I know its pressurized......most of the time.

Seen that before. Cute. Thanks. I like ya again. :D

You flew a Mustang.

I worship you.

B

Wow a Mustang really!? Thats an amazing plane! Don't worry I am sure that you would have forgot about the cold real fast if an ME109 was lighting up your tail!:D

buckwheat & WVOtoGO

You two would like this cartoon - it was sent to me by a friend of mine who is in the helicopter refurb biz.

(I had to "edit" a 4 letter work in there)