|
|
|
#1
|
||||
|
||||
Adult Fairy Tales
> >CINDERELLA wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't let
> >her. As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother > >appears, and promised to provide Cinderella with everything she needs to > >go to the ball, but only on two conditions. "First, you must wear a > >diaphragm." > > > >Cinderella agrees. "What's the second condition?" > > > >"You must be home by 2:00 a.m. Any later, and your diaphragm will turn > >into a pumpkin." > > > >Cinderella agrees to be home by 2:00 a.m . The appointed hour comes and > >goes, and Cinderella doesn't show up. Finally, at 5:00 a.m. Cinderella > >shows up, looking love struck and very satisfied. > > > >"Where have you been?" demands the Fairy Godmother. "Your diaphragm was > >supposed to turn into a pumpkin three hours ago!!!" > > > >" I met a prince, Fairy Godmother. He took care of everything." > > > >The Fairy Godmother stated, "I know of no prince with that kind of > >power! Tell me his name!" > > > >Cinderella replied, I can't remember, exactly, Peter, Peter, something > >or other..." > > > > > > > >************************************************* **************************************** > >PINOCCHIO had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about > >splinters when they were having sex. Pinocchio, therefore, went to visit > >Gepetto to see if he could help. Gepetto suggested he try a little > >sandpaper wherever indicated and Pinocchio skipped away enlightened. > > > >A couple weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing happily through > >town and asked him, "How's the girlfriend?" > > > >Pinocchio replied, "Who needs a girlfriend?" > > > > > >************************************************* **************************************** > >LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD was walking through the woods when suddenly the > >Big Bad Wolf jumped out from behind a tree and, holding a sword to her > >throat, said, "Red, I'm going to screw your brains out!" > > > >To that, Little Red Riding Hood calmly reached into her picnic basket > >and pulled out a 44 magnum and pointed it at him and said, "No, you're > >not. You're going to eat me, just like it says in the book." > > > > > >************************************************* **************************************** > > MICKEY MOUSE and MINNIE MOUSE were in divorce court and the judge said > >to Mickey, "You say here that your wife is crazy." > > > >Mickey replied, "I didn't say she was crazy, I said she's f**king > >Goofy." > > > > > >************************************************* ***************************************** > >SNOW WHITE saw Pinocchio walking through the woods so she ran up behind > >him, knocked him flat on his back, and then sat on his face crying, "Lie > >to me! Lie to me!" > > > > > > > >************************************************* ***************************************** > > > >One day, JANE met TARZAN in the jungle. She was very attracted to him > >and during her questions about his life she asked him how he engaged in > >sex. > > > >"What's that?" he asked. > > > >She explained to him what sex was and he said, "Oh, I use a hole in the > >trunk of a tree." > > > >Horrified, she said, " Tarzan, you have it all wrong but I will show you > >how to do it properly." She took off her clothes, lay down on the ground > >and spread her legs. "Here," she said, "you must put it in here." > > > >Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer and then gave her an > >almighty kick in the crotch. Jane rolled around in agony. Eventually she > >managed to gasp, "What the hell did you do that for?" > > > >"Just checking for bees," said Tarzan > > |
#2
|
|||
|
|||
|
Bookmarks |
|
|