Thinking of proposing
 

...to my girlfriend. Here birthday's at the end of the month, and I was thinking about giving her a ring as one of her presents. I don't think she will be expecting that. What do you think?

Can we try and talk you out of it?

Tread lightly, place your steps carefully, and good luck, my leetle freend!

Good luck, I hope she says yes.

And just in case it doesn't work, I knew she wasn't good enough for you. :D

Seriously If that's the way you feel go for it!

Danny

Wow! Way to cover all your bases, Danny.

So, what is it your proposing?

Seriously, you and she should be able to answer that question to some degree for each other before you decide to comence opperations in the legalistic sense.

My advice? Don't tie the proposal in to any other occassion. She'll want to be able to enjoy it, and piggybacking it with some other event (like a birthday) could make her feel like you were "killing two birds with one stone", so to speak.

More advice? Make your proposal a good one. Be romantic. Definitely drop to one knee. Her friends will all want to hear the story in excrutiating detail, so give her something good to go to them with. Mine was spontaneous, but very, very lame and has been fodder for good-natured kidding for the past 12 years. Well, mostly good-natured.

Oh, you might want to bring some guidelines for discussing any prenuptial agreement . .

Where do you live? How about a romantic dinner in a setting of your choice? Beach, mountaintop, etc.

X2. Just as long as she understands the "Commandments" of the Forum you have my blessing/whipping.

Agreed. Make it THE event, not the sideline. Some other do's.
Do: Talk to her parents, preferably without her knowledge. If it's not appropriate to ask their permission, at least tell them you would like their blessing. That will go a long way in the future. (Heck, I was 43 and it impressed the whole family!) Do: Plan the time and place and even what you will say. If things don't go according to plan, some minor bumbling never hurt and she will appreciate your making the effort. Guys are notoriously poor planners in this way and she will be impressed that you stretched yourself and probably endeared to you for your attempts at romanticism.

Yeah, if you insist on doing this, just remember efficiency is not a good thing where romantic endeavors are concerned. Forget about "killing two birds with one stone."

Go for it! I'm on my third wife. We are soul mates. I just wouldn't settle for less than perfect.

I'm glad I didn't.

I "piggybacked" my proposal on the end of an evening out with her friends (who flew in from out of town). I proposed (effectively) on the way out to the car for the drive home - I dont consider that piggybacking, nor have I heard any qualm from her

but I've only been married 3+ years...


On a serious note, wasnt there a thread not long ago about "questions you should ask each other before marraige" (kids, education, religion...) It was a DAMM good list and I should dig it up and link - I'm serious when I say that you need to take some evenings with your woman and go over the list - at least discuss/open up for discussion the things you guys haven't talked about already.

Go Botnst !

or maybe do this after she says "yes" =)

-John

lol angel,

I read those rules and that is never gonna work. One thing I will tell you is that you should live together for awhile and see how that works. That is the true test right there. If you do ok with that and their habits, then you will be fine. Not everyone is going to agree to "who does the chores" and **** like that, that sounds like it was written by some gripey ass old man that thinks he runs the show.

If you want to marry her, fantastic if she feels the same. There are hints in conversation you can bring up to gauge how she feels about you and marriage. But do live with her, no matter what your moral standards are like "we don't shack up until we are married". If you guys feel that way, stay clear of marriage, better to learn now than later.