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  #1  
Old 03-15-2007, 01:16 PM
Dee8go's Avatar
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Location: Arlington, VA
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Cool They walk among us . . .

I walked into a Blimpie's with a buy-one-get-one-free coupon for a sandwich.
I handed it to the girl and she looked over at a little
chalkboard that said "Buy one-get one free". "They're already
buy-one-get-one-free", she said, "So I guess they're both free".
She handed me my free sandwiches and I walked out the door.

They walk among us and many work retail.

A friend of mine bought a new fridge for his house.. To get rid of his old
fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: "Free to
good home. You want it, you take it." For three days the fridge sat there
without even one person looking twice at it. My friend decided that people
were too untrusting of this deal. It looked too good to be true, so he
changed the sign to read: "Fridge for sale $50."

The next day someone stole it.

They walk among us.


One day I was walking down the beach with some f riends when one of them
shouted, "Look at that dead bird!" Someone looked up at the sky and said,
"Where?"

They walk among us.

While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which
direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him
up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?" When my
brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she
shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff."

They walk among us.


I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a
call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I
told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week." He
responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" Wanting to end the call
quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific."

They walk among us.

My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our caf eteria, when we overheard
one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on
her weekend drive to the shore. She drove down in a convertible, but
"didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving."

They walk among us.


My friend has a lifesaving tool in his car designed to cut through a seat
belt if he gets trapped.

He keeps it in the trunk.

They walk among us.


My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were
discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier
multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.

They walk among us.

I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring
attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, "Wouldn't the chain rip
out every time she turned her head?" I explained that a person's nose and
ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is tur ned.

They walk among us.

I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area, so I went to the
lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up.
She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional
and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, "Has your plane arrived yet?"

They walk among us.

While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to
go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut
into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding.
"Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6
pieces."


Yep, they walk among us.

AND .. . . they reproduce!

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1998 Lincoln Continental - Sold
Max 1984 300TD 285,000 miles - Sold
The Dee8gonator 1987 560SEC 196,000 miles - Sold
Orgasmatron - 2006 CLS500 90,000 miles
2002 C320 Wagon 122,000 miles
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  #2  
Old 03-15-2007, 01:45 PM
cmac2012's Avatar
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Truth is stranger than friction.
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  #3  
Old 03-15-2007, 01:46 PM
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I've run into many of those people.
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  #4  
Old 03-15-2007, 01:51 PM
Dee8go's Avatar
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Posts: 7,190
I work for one of them.
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" The market, like the Lord, helps those who help themselves. But, unlike the Lord, the market does not forgive those who know not what they do."- Warren Buffett

OBK #55

1998 Lincoln Continental - Sold
Max 1984 300TD 285,000 miles - Sold
The Dee8gonator 1987 560SEC 196,000 miles - Sold
Orgasmatron - 2006 CLS500 90,000 miles
2002 C320 Wagon 122,000 miles
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  #5  
Old 03-15-2007, 02:52 PM
R Leo's Avatar
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dee8go View Post
While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?" When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff."

Was she related to my CFI? I was flying towards the setting sun early one evening and he was intent, focused on the gyro, tapping at the glass and muttering something about how the thing was off because it was indicating due west.

I never flew with him again.
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  #6  
Old 03-15-2007, 03:34 PM
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Location: Alpharetta, GA
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My "favorite" thing is to have something that comes up to some amount of dollars & cents like $1.27 and then hand them $2.02 and watch the gears turn and get stuck... "Uhh... it's 27 cents, not 2..." "Just key it in and see what happens..." "But it's 27 cents..." "Just do it, please..." "Oh, you get 75 cents back?!?!?" Heaven forbid the register is non-functional.

How about prices that are intended to be 25 cents, but are listed in the form of "0.25 cents"? I try to explain to folks that the sign should be "$0.25" and that the way it's written means I could get four for one penny. They'll usually say something like "No, it's point two five cents each, not four for one penny..." Not too long ago, I was going to buy some free weights and saw that they were listed as "0.45 cents per pound" and tried to explain it to the dolt and bimbo working there, but they didn't get it and said the manager would have to figure it out (the next day). I told them I'd be back then (I couldn't transport them that day anyhow) and that if it wasn't fixed, I'd demand the price as it was written. The manager was not so clueless and had the price fixed, but gave me a break because of the error.

On the "supply" side, I worked at a local tire shop and at Pep Boys during college and a bit afterwards while waiting to go on active duty -- I met PLENTY of clueless folks both in the customer and employee populations. One guy came in to the flea market location of the tire shop I worked for...

Quote:
Him: "Do you have any used tires for sale?"

Me: "No, but we do have some very affordable new tires..."

Him: "I'm not being cheap. New tires are always bad. Old tires that have been used are the only good ones."

Me: "Well, if you buy some new ones and drive on them a bit, then they'll be used."

Him: "I'm telling you -- NEW TIRES ARE BAD TIRES."

Me: "Are you saying every tire ever made was bad when it was new?"

Him: "Now you get it."

Me: "Well, then, how did those bad new tires become good used tires?"

Him: (blank stare)

Me: (blank stare)

Him: "So, you don't have any good tires here?"

Me: "I guess not. Sorry!"
I have many more tales of cluelessness, but my "diary" of them is at home...
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  #7  
Old 03-15-2007, 03:35 PM
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Oh, are you a pilot, too, Randy? Or learning to be one? That seems to be pretty common amonst us here.
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" The market, like the Lord, helps those who help themselves. But, unlike the Lord, the market does not forgive those who know not what they do."- Warren Buffett

OBK #55

1998 Lincoln Continental - Sold
Max 1984 300TD 285,000 miles - Sold
The Dee8gonator 1987 560SEC 196,000 miles - Sold
Orgasmatron - 2006 CLS500 90,000 miles
2002 C320 Wagon 122,000 miles
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  #8  
Old 03-15-2007, 03:44 PM
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From Ferris Bueller's Day Off:

[a baseball game is on television]

Ed Rooney: What's the score?
Pizza Joint Owner: Nothin' nothin'.
Ed Rooney: [not really listening] Who's winning?
Pizza Joint Owner: The Bears.
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  #9  
Old 03-15-2007, 04:36 PM
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Quote:

While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which
direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him
up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?" When my
brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she
shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff."

___________________________________________________________________

Your brother is asking other people which way north is?

Your brother walks among us...
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  #10  
Old 03-15-2007, 04:53 PM
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Oh yeah I get them all the time. Its amazing how stupid people can be...
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  #11  
Old 03-15-2007, 04:57 PM
R Leo's Avatar
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dee8go View Post
Oh, are you a pilot, too, Randy? Or learning to be one? That seems to be pretty common amonst us here.
Took lessons years ago ('77). Decided, largely because of the aforementioned exprience and a couple of others, that it was too damned risky and I quit...haven't been in a small GA aircraft since.

One caveat: I would consider flying with WVOtoGO if he brought his helicopter to BHF.
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  #12  
Old 03-15-2007, 05:22 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cmac2012 View Post
Truth is stranger than friction.
"There is no substitute for friction"
Quote - My Lady Manager
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  #13  
Old 03-15-2007, 09:37 PM
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Exclamation *** Danger Will Robinson!!! ***

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dee8go View Post
...AND .. . . they reproduce!
And they have a license to drive on the same roadways with you TOO!!!
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  #14  
Old 03-15-2007, 10:55 PM
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Hopefully, they are driving in the opposite direction ...
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  #15  
Old 03-16-2007, 06:19 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LaRondo View Post
Hopefully, they are driving in the opposite direction ...
But not in your lane.

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