Golf
 

Ten Best Caddy Replies

10. Golfer "Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake."
Caddy "Think you can keep your head down that long?"

9. Golfer "I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course."
Caddy "Try heaven, you've already moved most of the earth."

8. Golfer "Do you think my game is improving?"
Caddy "Yes sir, you miss the ball much closer now."

7. Golfer "Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?"
Caddy "Eventually."

6. Golfer "You've got to be the worst caddy in the world."
Caddy "I don't think so sir. That would be too much of a coincidence."

5. Golfer "Please stop checking your watch all the time.
It's too much of a distraction."
Caddy "It's not a watch - it's a compass."

4. Golfer "How do you like my game?"
Caddy "Very good sir, but personally, I prefer golf."

3. Golfer "Do you think it's a sin to play on Sunday?"
Caddy "The way you play, sir, it's a sin on any day."

2. Golfer "This is the worst course I've ever played on."
Caddy "This isn't the golf course. We left that an hour ago."

1. Golfer "That can't be my ball, it's too old."
Caddy "It's been a long time since we teed off, sir."

Excellent! I will add this to my resume, maybe it'll help.

I worked at a golf course a couple summers ago as a Greenskeeper. It was a tough 6AM-2PM, 40 hr week job but it had its perks. We had these gas powered utility carts we'd ride around in that had a little bed in back to put tools and such in, and they were usually in poor tune. My favorite thing to do was get them to backfire right when the golfers were taking their swings.

There were two varieties of those carts. One was a single speed that wouldn't go fast at all. Then there was a manual transmission, 5 speed model that would haul ass. Of course the tires were bald so one time I did a 720 degree spin on the wet grass and gave those golfin sunsa*****es a good laugh :D

A mindful caddy.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=5076078284944811962&q=carl+caddyshack&total=17&start=0&num=10&so=0&type=search&plind ex=0