Ok, we have the math and science jokes, how about a more familiar classic? I know you've all heard at least one. Let's hear them!

I'll start:

How many physciatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?

One, but it has to want to change.


How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?

A fish.


How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?

14, one to change the bulb, and 13 to discuss how Neil Peart could have done it better.

Ok, that should get the ball rolling. Bonus points to whoever comes up with the best "How many Mercedes owners" joke.

MV

HI I'm a newbie to the mercedes club.

How many mb owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Answer,
1. If question is posted in the tech area, you will get five answers.

2. If posted in the Diesel section, you will get fifteen answers from 617 owners and twelve advocating the opposite idea from 603 owners. The 616 owners will know the right answer but will be too slow to help.

3. If posted in the vintage section you will only get one answer from Roger Dalton but it will be correct. If a v8 you will get one answer from Tomguy but it will be correct too.

4. If posted in the Open Discussion you will get a lot of answers but they will be about politics, sex and greed.

5. If posted in the parts section you will get a lot of offers of parts to solve the problem but if they are the right one they will be on the opposite coast and the shipping will be prohibitive.

Tom W

__________________
[SIGPIC] Diesel loving autocrossing grandpa Architect. 08 Dodge 3/4 ton with Cummins & six speed; I have had about 35 benzes. I have a 39 Studebaker Coupe Express pickup in which I have had installed a 617 turbo and a five speed manual.[SIGPIC]

..I also have a 427 Cobra replica with an aluminum chassis.

Good one, Tom. I want to know who the hell Neil Peart is.

__________________
" We have nothing to fear but the main stream media itself . . . ."- Adapted from Franklin D Roosevelt for the 21st century

OBK #55

1998 Lincoln Continental - Sold
Max 1984 300TD 285,000 miles - Sold
The Dee8gonator 1987 560SEC 196,000 miles - Sold
Orgasmatron - 2006 CLS500 90,000 miles
2002 C320 Wagon 122,000 miles
2016 AMG GTS 12,000 miles

Sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, she holds it up while the world revolves around her.

__________________
You don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows - Robert A. Zimmerman

No, not a newbie, just an infrequent poster.

I guess I should have specified that I was hoping to hear plenty of non-MBZ ones as well. I'm sure we've all heard the standard auto-related message board ones, I was thinking of ones not particularly related to the forum. But the ones you posted are still funny. I am confused though about the 616 owners, did you mean both of them, or just the one? (In our area 616s are rare, not sure if that's true everywhere...)

MV

Q. How many Socialist Workers Party members does it take to change
a lightbulb.
A. Four. One to change the bulb, one to write about it for "the
paper", one to sell you "the paper" and another to follow you home and
ask why you weren't at the bulb changing, if you plan to make the next
one and if you were still as committed.

Yeah, you kinda have to know some drummers for that one. He's the drummer for Rush, and seemingly recognized as one of the world's best drummers. But I (like most non-musicians) am not really a big Rush fan so...

MV

How many kids with ADD does it take to change a light bulb?

A: lets go ride bikes

No put down intended...just trying to get into the spirit of it. The newbie was not intended to mean you.

Tom W

__________________
[SIGPIC] Diesel loving autocrossing grandpa Architect. 08 Dodge 3/4 ton with Cummins & six speed; I have had about 35 benzes. I have a 39 Studebaker Coupe Express pickup in which I have had installed a 617 turbo and a five speed manual.[SIGPIC]

..I also have a 427 Cobra replica with an aluminum chassis.

How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None...that's a hardware problem...

__________________
2009 ML350 (106K) - Family vehicle
2001 CLK430 Cabriolet (80K) - Wife's car
2005 BMW 645CI (138K) - My daily driver
2016 Mustang (32K) - Daughter's car

How many railroaders does it take to screw in a light bulb? just 2 the trick is gettin em in there.

Ginger Baker was the best drummer in the universe...

__________________
"It's normal for these things to empty your wallet and break your heart in the process."
2012 SLK 350
1987 420 SEL

How many MB engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

A lot. Also will take years of R&D, and it'll cost a lot when it's all done.

__________________
" We have nothing to fear but the main stream media itself . . . ."- Adapted from Franklin D Roosevelt for the 21st century

OBK #55

1998 Lincoln Continental - Sold
Max 1984 300TD 285,000 miles - Sold
The Dee8gonator 1987 560SEC 196,000 miles - Sold
Orgasmatron - 2006 CLS500 90,000 miles
2002 C320 Wagon 122,000 miles
2016 AMG GTS 12,000 miles

Overall, most likely the best rock drummer ever.

His website: http://www.neilpeart.net/

Now watch this (a must view) a Buddy Rich tribute: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1bIchqJoxFQ

And then him in concert recently, with full kit (he's 52 years old), esp. at 2:30 on : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pesdq5Ce5KE

__________________
Chris
2007 E550 4Matic - 61,000 Km - Iridium Silver, black leather, Sport package, Premium 2 package
2007 GL450 4Matic - 62,000 Km - Obsidian Black Metallic, black leather, all options
1998 E430 - sold
1989 300E - 333,000 Km - sold
1977 280E - sold
1971 250 - retired

"And a frign hat. They gave me a hat at the annual benefits meeting. I said. how does this benefit me. I dont have anything from the company.. So they gave me a hat." - TheDon

How many wives does it take to change a light bulb?


None, they just sit in the dark and ***** about it.

__________________
1959 Gravely LI, 1963 Gravely L8, 1973 Gravely C12
1982 380SL
1978 450 SEL 6.9 euro restoration at 63% and climbing
1987 300 D
2005 CDI European Delivery
2006 CDI Handed down to daughter
2007 GL CDI. Wifes