If your Benz ran a "Singles Ad"

[TX76513]

If your MB ran it's own singles ad - How would it read?

Single, Long Legged SDL Born in '86, with really nice body, sleek round classic styling, perky set of euro lights, and a killer rack! Just got new rubber! - Seeks younger diesel for possible late night, discrete engine swaping... If all of the parts fit just right, a possible long-term relationship may develop.

[iwrock]

SL600

Single, topless dancer, good body, fast on its feet, blue eyes, german descent, hi-performance low profile rubber. Lookin for something Italian.

[benzene]

"Geriatric, but I start up fast and can keep up without Viagra..." this is creepy.

[Botnst]

Ol' Reliable.

[Mistress]

She can wrap her legs around you like a well worn tire. Oh wait this one is about my car.

[John Doe]

Moderator, this thread should be merged with the 'naming your car thread.'

[Benzadmiral]

Originally Posted by Siduri19

She can wrap her legs around you like a well worn tire. Oh wait this one is about my car.

Saturday night was all right for fightin', too, especially back when I had an old gold Chevy and a place of my own.

[Benzadmiral]

My C230 is celibate. (Except for every ten days or so, when it hooks up with the premium pump.)

But if it decided to post on myspace:

"Cute little palomino filly, petite but high-performing, low-maintenance (well most of the time lol) but fun (always), seeks old-fashioned strong guy to steer me in the right direction and shift my gears himself. No rusty junkers need apply. Feed me right, lube me when I drop the hint (omg), and listen to me purr. You can take me anywhere (even snow, lol). Treat me like a princess !!!!$#$#!!!"
-- JenW202

[waybomb]

Black, long, hard as steel, and wanting to drive into your garage.

[450slcguy]

Sleek, sexy, polished, and on the prowl.

[H-townbenzoboy]

1982 300D. Been around the block a few times (literally), has experimented with B20, doesn't want to go any further unless it's with the right equipment.
Running synthetic motor and transmission oil, but you wouldn't know unless I told ya.
Seeks other single MB, preferably a big LWB W140 to cuddle up with in the garage and make my turbo scream when we're together. Those S350s and 300SD with bent rods and poser S280s with V12 badges need not apply.

[davestlouis]

After all I've given my cars, they best not post a singles ad!!!Ungrateful wretches.

[raymr]

380SE looking for...?

I have an ugly face and lumpy square body. I don't cook or clean, but I will try to take all your money unless you show me lots of love and attention. I am blue for you. Please call me.

[R Leo]

Hi! My name is Sybill. For a good time call: 1-800-367-6372

[croftynsteph]

for the 300...

Single female with baggage and a blue disposition. I'll let you inside me but sometimes its a rough ride. For my age I'm still a winner and all the boys think I'm a fancy piece. But I am not a cheap date.

for the clk...

I'm a sleek, sexy high maintenance *****. Please don't ride me too hard or I'll get irritated. I'll impress your friends and drain your bank account.

sexual inuendo abound...