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  #1  
Old 10-15-2007, 12:17 PM
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Male Sensitivity

MALE SENSITIVITY TEST
> 1. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:
> A. Lovemaking.
> B. Screwing.
> C. Taking the pigskin bus to tuna town.

2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared:
> A. Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship.
> B. Your blood-test results.
> C. Five tequila slammers.

3. You carefully pace yourself to time your orgasm so that:
> A. Your partner climaxes first.
> B. You both climax simultaneously.
> C. You don't miss ESPN Sports Center.

4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
> A. Healthy, creative love-play.
> B. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would agree to.
> C. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend needs to ever find out about.
>
5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had sex with is:
> A. The very best part of the experience.
> B. The second best part of the experience.
> C. $100 extra.
>
6. Your wife/girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in the last month. You tell her that it is:
> A. Of no consequence to how you love her and your affectionate feelings for her.
> B. Not a problem, she can join your gym if she'd like to.
> C. A very conservative estimate.
>
7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:
> A. An important model to strive for
> B. A myth or an oxymoron.
> C. A moron.

> 8. Foreplay is to sex as:
> A. An appetizer is to entree.
> B. Primer is to paint.
> C. A long line is to an amusement park ride.
>
9. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the end of a relationship?
> A. "This time together has been meaningful for me. I hope we can still be friends."
> B. "I'm not in right now, please leave a message at the beep."
> C. "Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: YOU."
>
10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:
> A. Probably needs a little more time, understanding, and gentle encouragement before she can cope with that sort of intimacy.
> B. Is uptight and a waste of time.
> C. Shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place.
>
> Evaluating Results:
> * If you answered "A" more than 7 times, check inside your pants to be sure you ARE a man.
> * If you answered "B" more than 7 times, check into therapy.
> * If you answered "C" more than 7 times, YOU DA MAN

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  #2  
Old 10-15-2007, 12:38 PM
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A *
A
A
A
B
A *
B **
A
B **
B **


* Answer A if you every want to get lucky.
** Depending on who you are dealing with, sometimes C

6 As
1 to 4 Bs
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  #3  
Old 10-15-2007, 01:40 PM
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Nothing to do with the test, but I didn't want to start a new thread:

Man goes into a cocktail lounge and approaches Maxine sitting by herself :
Man: "May I buy you a cocktail?"
Maxine: "No thank you, alcohol is bad for my legs."
Man: "Sorry to hear that. Do they swell?"
Maxine: "No, they spread ."
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  #4  
Old 10-15-2007, 01:54 PM
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Question about number one- You can't be Jewish and take the pigskin bus to tuna town especially if the significant other has an alergy to mercury, can I refer this to the Minion?

What is the male equivalent to PMS?
SRH- Semen Retention Headache.
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  #5  
Old 10-15-2007, 01:59 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aklim View Post
A *
A
A
A
B
A *
B **
A
B **
B **


* Answer A if you every want to get lucky.
** Depending on who you are dealing with, sometimes C

6 As
1 to 4 Bs
Aklim, report to Dr. Phil immediately!
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  #6  
Old 10-15-2007, 06:09 PM
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Well you say A to the girl and C to your friends.
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  #7  
Old 10-16-2007, 11:26 AM
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Andrew Dice Clay- "I just wanted to be held."
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"It's normal for these things to empty your wallet and break your heart in the process."
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  #8  
Old 10-16-2007, 11:59 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mistress View Post
Andrew Dice Clay- "I just wanted to be held."
So do I. By certain muscles in a woman.
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  #9  
Old 10-16-2007, 12:19 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aklim View Post
So do I. By certain muscles in a woman.
Me thinks your girl Coulter could do a death grip with those twigs for legs....
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  #10  
Old 10-16-2007, 12:40 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mistress View Post
Me thinks your girl Coulter could do a death grip with those twigs for legs....
Think PC. Nothing to do with legs.
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99 E300 Turbodiesel
91 Vette with 383 motor
05 Polaris Sportsman 800 EFI
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03 SeaDoo GTX SC Red
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  #11  
Old 10-16-2007, 12:43 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mistress View Post
What is the male equivalent to PMS?
SRH- Semen Retention Headache.
You know what I tell my wife what PMS means?

Paul Must Suffer.
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  #12  
Old 10-16-2007, 12:44 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mistress View Post
Me thinks your girl Coulter could do a death grip with those twigs for legs....
Ann Coulter is much too skinny. Someone please feed her a sandwich.
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2001 E430, Bourdeaux Red, Oyster interior.
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  #13  
Old 10-16-2007, 12:46 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by suginami View Post
Ann Coulter is much too skinny. Someone please feed her a sandwich.
I could feed her a protein shake
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99 E300 Turbodiesel
91 Vette with 383 motor
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  #14  
Old 10-16-2007, 07:46 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by suginami View Post
You know what I tell my wife what PMS means?

Paul Must Suffer.
Too bad; it could be Parked Motorcycle Syndrome.

Mark
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  #15  
Old 10-16-2007, 09:48 PM
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On the Ford Powerstroke boards it is known as Powerstroke Modification Syndrome.

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99 E300 Turbodiesel
91 Vette with 383 motor
05 Polaris Sportsman 800 EFI
06 Polaris Sportsman 500 EFI
03 SeaDoo GTX SC Red
03 SeaDoo GTX SC Yellow
04 Tailgator 21 ft Toy Hauler
11 Harley Davidson 883 SuperLow
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