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  #1  
Old 10-30-2007, 04:28 AM
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Who's yo' daddy?

The following are all replies that Dallas, Texas women have written on Child Support Agency forms in the section for listing "father's details." Or putting it another way . . . "Who's Yo' Daddy?" These are genuine excerpts from the forms (truth be told??).

Number 11 takes 1st prize and #3 is runner up. Number 5 gives new meaning to people from Virginia.

1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, child A was fathered by Jim Munson. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of child B, but I believe that he was conceived on the same night.

2. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps.

3. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was conceived at a party at 3600 Grand Avenue where I had unprotected sex with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father, can you send me his phone number? Thanks.

4. I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels. Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he's had it replaced.

5. I have never had sex with a man. I am still a virginian. I am awaiting a letter from the Pope confirming that my son's conception was ejaculate and that he is the Saver risen again.

6. I cannot tell you the name of child A's dad as he informs me that to do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for the economy. I am torn between doing right by you and right by the country. Please advise.

7. I do not know who the father of my child is as all blacks look the same to me.

8. Peter Smith is the father of child A. If you do catch up with him, can you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs? Child B who was also borned at the same time ... well, I don't have clue.

9. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Disney World; maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom!

10. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I remember for sure is Delia Smith did a program about eggs earlier in the evening. If I had stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at 146 Miller Drive, mine might have remained unfertilized.

11. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby, after all, like when you eat a can of beans you can't be sure which one made you fart.



Yep, you guessed it right - you are all paying taxes to support these intelligent souls.

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  #2  
Old 10-30-2007, 07:49 AM
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Where did you get this Rick, from some chain email? Snopes is investigating.

http://www.snopes.com/humor/lists/childsup.asp
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  #3  
Old 10-30-2007, 08:41 AM
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Well we know it ain't Bill! Snopes or not, funnier as heck!
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  #4  
Old 10-30-2007, 08:43 AM
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True or false, they're still pretty funny! Thanks, I enjoyed that.

"Who my baby daddy?"
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  #5  
Old 10-30-2007, 11:21 AM
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Talking

"Orangelo, Lemangelo, and Chlamydia Champagne? Who named these chirren, anyways?"
.
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  #6  
Old 10-30-2007, 11:22 AM
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Boy, THAT has certainly gotten around on the Internet! That thing kills me.
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  #7  
Old 10-30-2007, 12:19 PM
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Peculiar statements from each:

Sentence grammar from much of these appear as if written by seemingly educated adult women...but apparently not educated enough to avert unintended conception though...
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  #8  
Old 10-31-2007, 01:43 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Benzadmiral View Post
"Orangelo, Lemangelo, and Chlamydia Champagne? Who named these chirren, anyways?"
.
"Who my baby's daddy?" "Don't none of these kids look like me..."
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  #9  
Old 10-31-2007, 02:03 PM
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Who's these babys daddy

http://minibytes.mondominishows.com/daddy/main.asp
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  #10  
Old 10-31-2007, 02:24 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rickg View Post

Yep, you guessed it right - you are all paying taxes to support these intelligent souls.
Well it looks like someone thinks its real.....


1. There is no form to fill out that would elicit these types of responses for establishment of paternity, or for applications for social assistance;
2. If there were such a form, the comments would not be passed around the internet, because such proceedings and their associated pleadings are sealed to protect the identity of the child;
3. You aren't paying for these imaginary bastards if you don't live in Texas.


When did Halloween become 'run down poor people day'?
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  #11  
Old 10-31-2007, 02:30 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by John Doe View Post
. . . When did Halloween become 'run down poor people day'?
I don't know. That's what it says on MY calendar . . .
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The Dee8gonator 1987 560SEC 196,000 miles - Sold
Orgasmatron - 2006 CLS500 90,000 miles
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  #12  
Old 10-31-2007, 02:32 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dee8go View Post
I don't know. That's what it says on MY calendar . . .
You ****er

I'm just having to see a lot of unfortunate people recently. I generally think about their situations more as the holidays approach.
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  #13  
Old 10-31-2007, 03:44 PM
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I wasn't making light of the plight of the impoverished, JD. I used to be one of them. Okay, I WAS making light of their plight, dammit! But then, I might light of most everything. If we can't laugh at ourselves, we've come to an even worse place than poverty . . . I guess you'd call it spiritual poverty.
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OBK #55

1998 Lincoln Continental - Sold
Max 1984 300TD 285,000 miles - Sold
The Dee8gonator 1987 560SEC 196,000 miles - Sold
Orgasmatron - 2006 CLS500 90,000 miles
2002 C320 Wagon 122,000 miles
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  #14  
Old 10-31-2007, 03:47 PM
David R. Smith
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At the seven-eleven today I saw what was probably a single mom and her four or five year old daughter making multiple trips in and out of the store with a tiny styrofoam cup. They were trying to fill the radiator of a overheated mid '80 Cavalier station wagon.

What really bugged me was the hushed whispers and smirks coming from the mostly well off soccer moms who pretended not to see her when she would walk by.

I went in the store, and paid almost $20.00 for a gallon of generic coolant and handed it to the woman. I also asked if she needed to call anyone she was welcome to use my phone. She thanked me and said that in the last hour not one person had offered help of any kind. When I see situations like that, I makes me boil, because if it had been a nubile college coed there would have been a line of men drooling over themselves trying to "help".
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  #15  
Old 10-31-2007, 03:48 PM
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Good for you, David.

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" The market, like the Lord, helps those who help themselves. But, unlike the Lord, the market does not forgive those who know not what they do."- Warren Buffett

OBK #55

1998 Lincoln Continental - Sold
Max 1984 300TD 285,000 miles - Sold
The Dee8gonator 1987 560SEC 196,000 miles - Sold
Orgasmatron - 2006 CLS500 90,000 miles
2002 C320 Wagon 122,000 miles
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