The Man Rules - PeachParts Mercedes-Benz Forum

Mistress · #1 02-29-2008, 03:16 PM

See, I understand men.

1. Men are not mind readers
1. Learn to work the toilet seat your a big girl, if its up put it down. you don't hear us complaining if its down.
1. Sunday sports Its Like The Full Moon or the changing of the tides, let it be.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want, Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work. JUST SAY IT.
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable asnwers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it, that's what we do.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.In fact, all comments are void after 7 days.
1. When possible, say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we. Thats why we have TomTom, Garmin and Mio.
1. If you think your fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. I am in shape, round IS a shape.
1. If we ask what is wrong, don't say nothing because we will act like nothings wrong but its just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want the answer too, keep your yap shut.

Jordan G · #2 02-29-2008, 03:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mistress

See, I understand men.

1. Men are not mind readers
1. Learn to work the toilet seat your a big girl, if its up put it down. you don't hear us complaining if its down.
1. Sunday sports Its Like The Full Moon or the changing of the tides, let it be.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want, Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work. JUST SAY IT.
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable asnwers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it, that's what we do.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.In fact, all comments are void after 7 days.
1. When possible, say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we. Thats why we have TomTom, Garmin and Mio.
1. If you think your fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. I am in shape, round IS a shape.
1. If we ask what is wrong, don't say nothing because we will act like nothings wrong but its just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want the answer too, keep your yap shut.

You're going to get 3000 marriage proposals after posting something like this.

Idolotor · #3 02-29-2008, 04:03 PM

Thank You!

I never met a woman that thought the toilet seat was just as much HER responsibility for putting it down as was for me to put it up!

I find smart women very sexy!!!

Mistress · #4 02-29-2008, 04:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Idolotor

Thank You!

I never met a woman that thought the toilet seat was just as much HER responsibility for putting it down as was for me to put it up!

I find smart women very sexy!!!

Thanks. I'm working on one with a remote as we speak, bluetooth.

SwampYankee · #5 02-29-2008, 04:11 PM

Finally, a woman who gets IT!

Botnst · #6 02-29-2008, 04:12 PM

My wife has something that I can only describe as dolphin-butt -- in the darkest of night she can detect, without touching, whether the seat is up or down.

How can I make money with that?

Mistress · #7 02-29-2008, 04:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Botnst

My wife has something that I can only describe as dolphin-butt -- in the darkest of night she can detect, without touching, whether the seat is up or down.

How can I make money with that?

You'd have to ask Flipper.

420SEL · #8 02-29-2008, 04:56 PM

I never got that toilet seat thing. Do women really run in the bathroom and sit down without looking? I solve the problem, by lowering both the seat and the lid each and every time. That way I can't be accused of not putting the seat down, but my wife still has to lift the lid, so she doesn't get away with doing nothing herself.

catmandoo62 · #9 02-29-2008, 08:09 PM

i cured the problem.i always sit,never know when i'll try to fart and end up crapping my pants.saves me some clean-up. but then i leave the roll empty and still get chewed out.

t walgamuth · #10 02-29-2008, 10:30 PM

x2 .....

Except the part about dirtying the britches.

I mainly like to read and so will sit except if I have clothes on that don't lend themselves to sitting.

LOL

Tom W

aklim · #11 02-29-2008, 11:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 420SEL

I never got that toilet seat thing. Do women really run in the bathroom and sit down without looking? I solve the problem, by lowering both the seat and the lid each and every time. That way I can't be accused of not putting the seat down, but my wife still has to lift the lid, so she doesn't get away with doing nothing herself.

The wife sat into the bowl one night when she expected it to be there and she needed to do something really bad. You should have heard her cuss. The paint on the walls were blistering. She was half asleep but I'll bet the cold water woke her up real quick.

aklim · #12 02-29-2008, 11:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by catmandoo62

i cured the problem.i always sit,

X3. Hence the magazines on the water closet

tankdriver · #13 03-01-2008, 12:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 420SEL

I never got that toilet seat thing.

I never got it either. Do they back into the bathroom? How can you avoid seeing the toilet before you sit on it?

suginami · #14 03-01-2008, 01:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mistress

1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want, Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work. JUST SAY IT.

Man oh howdy this is a nice list.

I particularly like these two rules.

Women use crying as a weapon, and they expect us men to be mind-readers.

t walgamuth · #15 03-01-2008, 05:09 AM

Every two or three months I have to take most of the stuff off the back of the toilet because the stack is getting so high I am afraid I will shear off the little bolts that hold the tank onto the base!

Tom W