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#1
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The Wedding Test
THE WEDDING TEST
I am a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I have been happily dating for over a year - and so we've decided to take the next step and get married. There was only one little thing bothering me...It is her beautiful younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law is twenty-two, wears very tight miniskirts, and generally goes braless. She regularly bends down when she's near me. The view is always compelling . I'm thinking it has to be deliberate because she never does it when she's near anyone else. One day 'little' sister calls and asks me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She's all alone when I arrive and whispers she has feelings and desires for me she can no longer overcome. She tells me she wants me just once before I get married and commit my life to her sister. Well, I'm in total shock and can't say a word. Then she says, 'I'm going upstairs to my bedroom. If you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me. I am, needless to say, stunned and frozen in shock as I watch that wholesome hardbody climb the stairs. I stand there for a moment, then turn and make a beeline straight to the front door. I open the door and head straight for my car. Lo and behold, my entire future family is standing outside, all clapping! With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugs me and says, 'We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.' And the moral of this story is: Always keep your condoms in your car.
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1986 300SDL, 362K 1984 300D, 138K |
#2
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Heard it before. Still funny.
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Whoever said there's nothing more expensive than a cheap Mercedes never had a cheap Jaguar. 83 300D Turbo with manual conversion, early W126 vented front rotors and H4 headlights 400,xxx miles 08 Suzuki GSX-R600 M4 Slip-on 22,xxx miles 88 Jaguar XJS V12 94,xxx miles. Work in progress. |
#3
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That's great!
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"It's normal for these things to empty your wallet and break your heart in the process." 2012 SLK 350 1987 420 SEL |
#4
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It's still hilarious today! Although I probably would have failed it!
I still remember similar situations with girlfriends that had hot roomates!
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2009 ML350 (106K) - Family vehicle 2001 CLK430 Cabriolet (80K) - Wife's car 2005 BMW 645CI (138K) - My daily driver 2016 Mustang (32K) - Daughter's car |
#5
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That is soooo old.
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'85 300SD (formerly california emissions) '08 Chevy Tahoe '93 Ducati 900 SS '79 Kawasaki KZ 650 '86 Kawasaki KX 250 '88 Kawasaki KDX200 '71 Hodaka Ace 100 '72 Triumph T100R |
#6
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I used to be a chef at a sorority house.
Kappa Kappa Gamma. Boy was it tempting when the girls brought their younger sisters around....
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You don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows - Robert A. Zimmerman |
#7
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I never heard it before. That was great, Carl. Thanks!
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" We have nothing to fear but the main stream media itself . . . ."- Adapted from Franklin D Roosevelt for the 21st century OBK #55 1998 Lincoln Continental - Sold Max 1984 300TD 285,000 miles - Sold The Dee8gonator 1987 560SEC 196,000 miles - Sold Orgasmatron - 2006 CLS500 90,000 miles 2002 C320 Wagon 122,000 miles 2016 AMG GTS 12,000 miles |
#8
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On my 60th birthday, I got a gift certificate from my wife, Cara.
The certificate paid for a visit to a shaman living on a nearby reservation who was rumored to have a wonderful cure for erectile dysfunction. After being persuaded, I drove to the reservation, handed my ticket to the shaman, and wondered what I was in for. The old man slowly, methodically produced a potion, handed it to me, and with a grip on my shoulder, warned, "This is powerful medicine and it must be respected. You take only a teaspoonful and then say '1-2-3.' When you do that, you will be longer and harder than you have ever been in your life and you can perform as long as you want." I was encouraged. As he walked away, I turned and asked, "How do I stop the medicine from working?" "Your partner must say '1-2-3-4,' the shaman responded. "But when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon. " I was eager to see if it worked. I went home, showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine, and then invited Cara to join me in the bedroom. When she came in, I took off my clothes and said, "1-2-3!" Immediately, I was the manliest of men. Cara was excited and began throwing off her clothes. And then she asked, "What was the 1-2-3 for?" And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition.
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1984 300SD Turbo Diesel 150,000 miles OBK member #23 (\__/) (='.'=) This is Bunny. Copy and paste bunny into your (")_(") signature to help him gain world domination |
#9
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My GF's sister teases me all the time... Like Forrest Gump says: "That's all I have to say about that..."
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-Evan Benz Fleet: 1968 UNIMOG 404.114 1998 E300 2008 E63 Non-Benz Fleet: 1992 Aerostar 1993 MR2 2000 F250 Last edited by KarTek; 03-07-2008 at 01:57 PM. |
#10
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Well sisters are related so technically its not cheating.
Whats Aklim's view on it?
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1999 SL500 1969 280SE 2023 Ram 1500 2007 Tiara 3200 |
#11
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A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.
One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? "You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side... You know what?" "What dear?" she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth. "I think you're bad luck... get the **** away from me." |
#12
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Oh man, the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.
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1986 300SDL, 362K 1984 300D, 138K |
#13
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Sounds like an old Penthouse Forum story. You know the ones with 14 adjectives in each sentence.... usually numeric.
Or: hot, hard, wet, heaving, etc.
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MB-less |
#14
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Quote:
Bed the both of them at the same time. Keep it in the family if you are going to cheat.
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01 Ford Excursion Powerstroke 99 E300 Turbodiesel 91 Vette with 383 motor 05 Polaris Sportsman 800 EFI 06 Polaris Sportsman 500 EFI 03 SeaDoo GTX SC Red 03 SeaDoo GTX SC Yellow 04 Tailgator 21 ft Toy Hauler 11 Harley Davidson 883 SuperLow |
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