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#1
03-13-2008, 12:20 PM
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Nine Words Women Use
(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and
you need to shut up. (2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house. (3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine. (4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It! (5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a nonverbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.) (6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake. (7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says "Thanks a lot" - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say "you're welcome" ... that will bring on a "whatever"). (8) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying "Kiss my butt"! (9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's wrong?" For the woman's response refer to # 3.
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" We have nothing to fear but the main stream media itself . . . ."- Adapted from Franklin D Roosevelt for the 21st century  OBK #55 1998 Lincoln Continental - Sold Max 1984 300TD 285,000 miles - Sold The Dee8gonator 1987 560SEC 196,000 miles - Sold Orgasmatron - 2006 CLS500 90,000 miles 2002 C320 Wagon 122,000 miles 2016 AMG GTS 12,000 miles 
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#2
03-13-2008, 12:40 PM
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I would add "Do what you want to do" in addition to #4. Had this one used on me when announcing that I want to go to various vehicular get-togethers... (like this weekend
 )
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-Evan Benz Fleet: 1968 UNIMOG 404.114 1998 E300 2008 E63 Non-Benz Fleet: 1992 Aerostar 1993 MR2 2000 F250
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#3
03-13-2008, 12:48 PM
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Now thats some funny stuff right there.....I don't care who you are..
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Showing up every day isn't enough. There are a lot of guys who show up every day who shouldn't have showed up at all. - James Caan
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#5
03-13-2008, 10:16 PM
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You forgot the superlatives......
Never = You missed taking out the trash once this week. Always = You left your socks on the floor last night. Constantly = You left the 'fridge door open. .....and one final word = Just. Just drop by the cleaners/shop/store/pharmacy/gas station on your way home honey ( There's $160.00 bill to pay.) .
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[http://languageandgrammar.com/2008/01/14/youve-got-problems-not-issues/ ] "A liberal is someone who feels they owe a great debt to their fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money."
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#6
03-13-2008, 11:09 PM
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My Mrs. is just the greatest gal ever, but I have heard all of those from time to time.
If you look at the list of cars I have owned you will instantly realize she is in line for sainthood! When I figure out that I have pissed her off, I usually work pretty hard at making amends. I can always get another car..... but a good wife is hard to find! Tom W
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[SIGPIC] Diesel loving autocrossing grandpa Architect. 08 Dodge 3/4 ton with Cummins & six speed; I have had about 35 benzes. I have a 39 Studebaker Coupe Express pickup in which I have had installed a 617 turbo and a five speed manual.  [SIGPIC]..I also have a 427 Cobra replica with an aluminum chassis.
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#7
03-14-2008, 01:28 AM
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Some of those remarks are actually disguised roadsigns that are *really* saying:
WARNING!!! DIVORCE AHEAD!!
__________________
 1991 560 SEC AMG, 199k <---- 300 hp 10:1 ECE euro HV ... 1995 E 420, 170k "The Red Plum" (sold) 2015 BMW 535i xdrive awd Stage 1 DINAN, 6k, <----364 hp 1967 Mercury Cougar, 49k 2013 Jaguar XF, 20k <----340 hp Supercharged, All Wheel Drive  (sold)
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