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  #1  
Old 03-13-2008, 12:20 PM
Dee8go's Avatar
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Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 7,190
Nine Words Women Use

(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and
you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour.
Five
minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to
watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you
should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a nonverbal statement often
misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders
why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about
nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make
to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how
and when you will pay for your mistake.


(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're
welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says "Thanks
a lot" - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at
all. DO NOT say "you're welcome" ... that will bring on a
"whatever").

(8) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying "Kiss my butt"!


(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is
something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it
herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's wrong?"
For the woman's response refer to # 3.

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  #2  
Old 03-13-2008, 12:40 PM
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I would add "Do what you want to do" in addition to #4. Had this one used on me when announcing that I want to go to various vehicular get-togethers... (like this weekend)
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  #3  
Old 03-13-2008, 12:48 PM
Hammertime's Avatar
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Posts: 62
Now thats some funny stuff right there.....I don't care who you are..
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  #4  
Old 03-13-2008, 01:19 PM
R Leo's Avatar
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I guess I'm not married to the typical woman. My Bride never pulls any of that crap on me.
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  #5  
Old 03-13-2008, 10:16 PM
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Location: Here an' there.
Posts: 2,548
You forgot the superlatives......

Never = You missed taking out the trash once this week.

Always = You left your socks on the floor last night.

Constantly = You left the 'fridge door open.

.....and one final word = Just.

Just drop by the cleaners/shop/store/pharmacy/gas station on your way home honey ( There's $160.00 bill to pay.)

.
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  #6  
Old 03-13-2008, 11:09 PM
t walgamuth's Avatar
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Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Lafayette Indiana
Posts: 35,767
My Mrs. is just the greatest gal ever, but I have heard all of those from time to time.

If you look at the list of cars I have owned you will instantly realize she is in line for sainthood!

When I figure out that I have pissed her off, I usually work pretty hard at making amends.

I can always get another car.....

but a good wife is hard to find!

Tom W
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..I also have a 427 Cobra replica with an aluminum chassis.
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  #7  
Old 03-14-2008, 01:28 AM
Jim B.'s Avatar
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Posts: 3,611
Some of those remarks are actually disguised roadsigns that are *really* saying:

WARNING!!! DIVORCE AHEAD!!

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