Here ya go
1. No more gift registries. You know, it used to be for weddings, now its for new homes, babies, graduations from re-hab. Picking out stuff you want and having other people buy it, isn't gift giving it;s white people version of looting.

2. Stop giving me the pop-up ad-for classmates.com! There is a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years. Becasue you don't particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days---- mowing lawns.

3. Stop saying teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blonde teachers are permanently damaged. I have a better description for these kids: Lucky bastards.!

4. Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men care about your eyebrows: Do you have two of them? Good, we're done.

5. Don't eat anything thats served to you out of a window unless your a seagull. People are acting all schocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy's chili. Hey, what it cost, less than a dollar. What did you expect to find, lobster?

6. Just becasue your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you Spiritual. It's right above the crack of your ass. And it translates to "beef with broccoli." The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. Your not spiritual. Your just high.

7. When I ask how old your toddler is I don't need to hear "27 months" He's two" will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I really don't care in the first place.

__________________
"It's normal for these things to empty your wallet and break your heart in the process."
2012 SLK 350
1987 420 SEL

That's great. I needed that this afternoon. Thanks for making me laugh.

__________________
" We have nothing to fear but the main stream media itself . . . ."- Adapted from Franklin D Roosevelt for the 21st century

OBK #55

1998 Lincoln Continental - Sold
Max 1984 300TD 285,000 miles - Sold
The Dee8gonator 1987 560SEC 196,000 miles - Sold
Orgasmatron - 2006 CLS500 90,000 miles
2002 C320 Wagon 122,000 miles
2016 AMG GTS 12,000 miles

Thanks for the laugh Mistress.

There was a recent thread that proved #3 isn't true in every case.

__________________
Chad
2006 Nissan Pathfinder LE
1998 Acura 3.0 CL
OBK#44
"Pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work." - Aristotle (384-322 B.C.)

SOLD
1985 300TD - Red Dragon
1986 300SDL - Coda
1991 - 300TE
1995 - E320
1985 300CD - Gladys

That's brilliant. I especially like #1.

- Peter.

__________________
2021 Chevrolet Spark
Formerly...
2000 GMC Sonoma
1981 240D 4spd stick. 347000 miles. Deceased Feb 14 2021
2002 Kia Rio. Worst crap on four wheels
1981 240D 4spd stick. 389000 miles.
1984 123 200
1979 116 280S
1972 Cadillac Sedan DeVille
1971 108 280S

#7... I can't stand that crap

George Carlin is hilarious.

When I was younger, I really didn't have the patience to try and understand him. Now he's awesome cause I appreciate that type of humor more, makes you think a little bit.

.02

__________________
Enough about me, how are you doing?

I can't believe someone of such nature narrated my favorite television show when I was a kid..Thomas the Tank Engine... this makes it a million times better

Thanks

__________________
'84 300SD sold
124.128

How old is your spider, by the way?

__________________
" We have nothing to fear but the main stream media itself . . . ."- Adapted from Franklin D Roosevelt for the 21st century

OBK #55

1998 Lincoln Continental - Sold
Max 1984 300TD 285,000 miles - Sold
The Dee8gonator 1987 560SEC 196,000 miles - Sold
Orgasmatron - 2006 CLS500 90,000 miles
2002 C320 Wagon 122,000 miles
2016 AMG GTS 12,000 miles

a year-ish? I really have no idea

I used to feel the same way. I try not to burden uninterested people with details about my kids, but it's tough.

In defense of the parents, they give the toddlers age in months because there are so many milestones in those 1st several years.

__________________
Chad
2006 Nissan Pathfinder LE
1998 Acura 3.0 CL
OBK#44
"Pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work." - Aristotle (384-322 B.C.)

SOLD
1985 300TD - Red Dragon
1986 300SDL - Coda
1991 - 300TE
1995 - E320
1985 300CD - Gladys

How much is that in months?

__________________
" We have nothing to fear but the main stream media itself . . . ."- Adapted from Franklin D Roosevelt for the 21st century

OBK #55

1998 Lincoln Continental - Sold
Max 1984 300TD 285,000 miles - Sold
The Dee8gonator 1987 560SEC 196,000 miles - Sold
Orgasmatron - 2006 CLS500 90,000 miles
2002 C320 Wagon 122,000 miles
2016 AMG GTS 12,000 miles