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  #16  
Old 05-09-2008, 07:09 AM
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Originally Posted by Hatterasguy View Post
Thats a shame and very said.

An old friend of the family suddenly put a 12 guage deer round through his skull a few years back, supposidly there were business problems but there family is tight lipped about that stuff so know one outside of the family knows for sure. Shook everyone up it was so unexpected, it still doesn't sit right.
I've known quite a few people of that ilk socially and business wise,2 of whom were enditalls.
The nearest I could fathom was either they were raised in typical moribund WASP fashion where showing emotion or asking for help was taboo and/or expressing feelings of inadequacy was somehow demeaning and made you less of a man.
Too bad,really.One Sport was quite good at what he did but fell victim to a securities swindle,and when he needed margin "cover money"all he had to do was ask his friends,we would have ponied up.
But no....too damn stupid and proud to admit failure,so he left a lovely wife,2 great kids and a mountain of debt which all his "friends"worked out eventually,even had $200K left from the sale of his house and boat which was put in trust for his wife as she was,well........somewhat featherbrained.

Once some people reach certain heights they cannot bear the lower depths.

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  #17  
Old 05-09-2008, 08:27 AM
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My brush came with a real good friend after graduating from H.S. He came from a very well-off and respected family (generations old family owned insurance company, father was Chief of our volunteer FD, very involved in the community, summer vacations spent on grandfather's 75' Burger cruising the East coast) and our family had been friends or acquaintances going back several generations. I never had an inkling of a cue that anything was wrong with him. Due to the way they found him the speculation was that he just couldn't deal with not living up to his father's expectations, no note was left.

He drove his car down to "the meadows" which is a native vegetation area, wetlands (we used to call them swamps) and farm land along the river with trails and dirt roads through out it. Apparently he started a fire on the fabric back seat of his car then shot himself in the head before the fire spread. Being a car fire, the FD was called and his father being chief with his business office less than a mile away was the first on the scene.
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  #18  
Old 05-09-2008, 01:55 PM
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Thats what I can figure as well, his family is an old WASP family so I suspect the thought of changing his lifestyle or asking for help was just to much. Shame though he had a lot of friends that would have helped him put stuff right.
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  #19  
Old 05-09-2008, 08:11 PM
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Originally Posted by pj67coll View Post
Autoerotic asphyxiation.

- Peter.
Thats a possibility, they probably wouldn't want to spread word of that around if it was. I had a cousin by marriage die from that about 10 years ago.
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  #20  
Old 05-09-2008, 08:30 PM
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Oh man, I wish people could consider what a painful vacuum such an act will leave in the lives of those left behind. Might help them to see how valuable they actually are.

But a person in that state is not too rational anyway.
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  #21  
Old 05-09-2008, 11:22 PM
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Any sudden death is a trial for the survivors, suicide can destroy families and makes the healing process miserable for everyone. I would hope that the neighbor lady gets involved with a group where she can work through what we call "the grief journey".

We bury quite a few suicides, of all ages. The faces of the survivors tells it all: raw, terrible grief, rage, wanting to know why...lots of these people don't leave notes or other indicators of what was wrong so the survivors blame themselves.

www.baue.com is the website for the funeral home/cemetery where I work and we have a large aftercare network, with special groups for young widows, survivors of suicide and other violent deaths. Many other funeral home operators have at least something for survivors, to help them go on and continue with life as best they can.
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  #22  
Old 05-10-2008, 01:11 AM
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It is very sad. I knew someone about 10 years ago who took his own life. He was always friendly, but quiet and introverted. You would never know he had a problem - just one day he was gone.
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  #23  
Old 05-10-2008, 10:02 AM
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Originally Posted by cmac2012 View Post
Oh man, I wish people could consider what a painful vacuum such an act will leave in the lives of those left behind. Might help them to see how valuable they actually are.

But a person in that state is not too rational anyway.
Suicide ranks among the most selfish acts one can inflict since there is no atoning for the damage done to others.

Life is difficult enough to bear when one is married and well established,that comes with it's own private hell.
But when one is young,inexperienced and considers their own feelings and infantile judgements quite unique,that's simply a cop-out that hurts the immediate family,which may be the original motivation,"hey,now you'll notice me,dammit"!
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  #24  
Old 05-10-2008, 12:08 PM
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Might help them to see how valuable they actually are.

But a person in that state is not too rational anyway.
You think they might have other things on their mind like their own problems where they see no good way out?
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  #25  
Old 05-10-2008, 12:13 PM
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Originally Posted by Carleton Hughes View Post
Suicide ranks among the most selfish acts one can inflict since there is no atoning for the damage done to others.

But when one is young,inexperienced and considers their own feelings and infantile judgements quite unique,that's simply a cop-out that hurts the immediate family,which may be the original motivation,"hey,now you'll notice me,dammit"!
Does it matter? Dead is dead whether by suicide or accident. And what did you expect that guy to do? He has his own problems. Oh, wait, he has to think of you also? Talk about selfish.

That is for the Attention Whores to do. AWs threaten suicide to get attention. Those that want out, just want out of a bad situation. No, it is their life so they don't have to get your approval.
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  #26  
Old 05-12-2008, 12:02 PM
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It was definitely suicide. He left a note. It seems very relevant that he chose to kill himself just a few days before Mother's Day. There must have been a lot going on there that was not immediately apparent to those of us who lived nearby.

It's very sad, though. The memorial service is tonight.
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  #27  
Old 05-12-2008, 12:15 PM
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Does it matter? Dead is dead whether by suicide or accident. And what did you expect that guy to do? He has his own problems. Oh, wait, he has to think of you also? Talk about selfish.

That is for the Attention Whores to do. AWs threaten suicide to get attention. Those that want out, just want out of a bad situation. No, it is their life so they don't have to get your approval.
You are young,I venture to guess.

How little you know of human nature.

Why are you so defensive?
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  #28  
Old 05-12-2008, 12:19 PM
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Originally Posted by Dee8go View Post
It was definitely suicide. He left a note. It seems very relevant that he chose to kill himself just a few days before Mother's Day. There must have been a lot going on there that was not immediately apparent to those of us who lived nearby.

It's very sad, though. The memorial service is tonight.
I wonder why though. Maybe he couldn't wait much longer but didn't want to screw up mother's day for his mom? Were they close?
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  #29  
Old 05-12-2008, 12:23 PM
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I thought they were close, but I didn't/don't know either of them very well. I heard several interactions between her and the guy she used to be married to. She could be very sweet to people like my daughter, but she really dished out some harsh abuse to her ex. Maybe there was a lot of that. Who knows?
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  #30  
Old 05-12-2008, 12:41 PM
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Originally Posted by Carleton Hughes View Post
You are young,I venture to guess.

How little you know of human nature.

Why are you so defensive?
How are we defining "young"? Older than 18 but under 30? 50?

So explain from your knowledgeable point of view then.

I don't think it is defensive to say that they have to consider what makes them happy before considering everybody else including the family dog.

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