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  #1  
Old 05-12-2008, 08:10 AM
Botnst's Avatar
What knockers!
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: There castle.
Posts: 40,707
Helpful tips from AARP

Q: Where can men over the age of 60 find younger, sexy women who are interested in them?
A: Try a bookstore-------under fiction.


Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?
A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you are done you will have a place to live.


Q: Someone has told me that menopause is mentioned in the Bible. Is that true? Where can it be found?
A: Yes. Matthew 14:92: 'And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Egypt.'


Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 60+ year old husband?
A: Tell him you're pregnant.


Q: Seriously! What can I do for these crow's feet and all those wrinkles on my face?
A: Go braless. It will usually pull them out.


Q: Why should 60+ year old people use valet parking?
A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.


Q: Is it common for 60+ year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?
A: Storing memory is not a problem, retrieving it is a problem.


Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?
A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.


Q: Where should 60+ year olds look for eye glasses?
A: On their foreheads.


Q: What is the most common remark made by 60+ year olds when they enter antique stores?
A: 'Gosh, I remember these.'

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  #2  
Old 05-12-2008, 08:30 AM
t walgamuth's Avatar
dieselarchitect
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Lafayette Indiana
Posts: 35,562
If I were 60 I would be deeply offended.

I'm sure glad I'm only 59!

Tom W
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[SIGPIC] Diesel loving autocrossing grandpa Architect. 08 Dodge 3/4 ton with Cummins & six speed; I have had about 35 benzes. I have a 39 Studebaker Coupe Express pickup in which I have had installed a 617 turbo and a five speed manual.[SIGPIC]

..I also have a 427 Cobra replica with an aluminum chassis.
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  #3  
Old 05-12-2008, 08:39 AM
Botnst's Avatar
What knockers!
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: There castle.
Posts: 40,707
Quote:
Originally Posted by t walgamuth View Post
If I were 60 I would be deeply offended.

I'm sure glad I'm only 59!

Tom W
May you live many years, deeply offended!
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'Government is like a baby:
An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and
no sense of responsibility at the other'
- Ronald Reagan
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  #4  
Old 05-12-2008, 10:37 AM
Jim B.'s Avatar
Who's flying this thing ?
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: N. California./ N. Nevada
Posts: 3,611
Quote:
Originally Posted by t walgamuth View Post
If I were 60 I would be deeply offended.

I'm sure glad I'm only 59!

Tom W
I just turned 60 and I forgot what the question was.
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  #5  
Old 05-12-2008, 10:38 AM
G-Benz's Avatar
Razorback Soccer Dad
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Dallas/Fort-Worth
Posts: 5,711
That horizon is nearing for me as well..

...it's to the point where I start REALLY paying attention to those "Colonial Penn" commercials...
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  #6  
Old 05-12-2008, 11:39 AM
aklim's Avatar
Registered User
 
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: Location: Greenfield WI, USA
Posts: 8,514
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jim B. View Post
I just turned 60 and I forgot what the question was.
Got Alzheimer's?

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