I'm not religious or a big fan of Dr. Laura, (or gay for that matter) but I thought this was funny! >>

Why Can't I Own a Canadian?



Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a east coast resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:
Dear Dr. Laura:
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:
When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?
I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?
A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?
Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?
Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?
I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)
I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.
Your devoted fan,
Jim

That's got to be like, 4 or 5 years old, right? Came out about the same time all those nekkid pictures reportedly hit the Internet. I'll bet somebody around here knows a lot about that. Bets?

B

This letter has been around for a long time. My brother sent it to me 3 years ago. The thing is that Dr. Laura and people of her ilk don't give a rats ass about this sort of logic. They pick and choose what they want to believe regardless of facts to contrary. You can not burst their bubble of righteousness with any kind of logic. Any attempt to do so only proves to them that they must be more steadfast in their beliefs.

I don't know if any stations here carry her show, so I've never listened. But from what I've read, she's one of the few media personalities who actually speak up for men and their issues. Nearly all these talking heads slavishly follow Oprah's lead in assuming the man is at fault and the woman is blameless in any marital disagreement. Dr. Laura apparently is willing to tell the wife she's at fault too (or even primarily!).

Okay, quoting the Old Testament is a little silly; we're not nomadic shepherds wandering a desert wilderness any more. But just because she espouses unpopular ideas (for example, that a wife should actually make her husband feel good about himself) is no reason to call her a nut. Most of the things she declaims about were considered normal and common-sense until about forty years ago. And those ideas worked, didn't they? We built a pretty good solid society using those principles.
.

__________________
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-- Paul W. (The Benzadmiral)
('03 Buick Park Avenue, charcoal/cream)
Formerly:
'97 C230, smoke silver/parchment; '86 420SEL, anthracite/light grey; '84 280CE (W123), dark blue/palomino

Men really take their chances on Oprah! I've seen audience members (99% women) defend female guests that have cheated on their husbands - saying that the husband MUST have caused it. Thoes same women BBQ over a fire, a man that has cheated on his wife. There is NO excuse for him! What would you expect...?