Why Working on Your Car is Like Having Sex
 

So there I was under the car changing the lower oil cooler hose and wrenching around when I thought "hey, this is lot like having sex." Here then, is my Top 10 List Why Working on Your Car is Like Having Sex. You are invited to post your own list.

When you are under the car . . . .
1. You're on your back making grunting noises . . . .
2. Sometimes you have to use your legs for leverage . . . .
3. You reach for the hole with your fingers . . . .
4. You have to put it in by feel . . . .
5. You have to contort your body to get in the right position . . . .
6. Sometimes liquid stuff falls on your face . . .
7. You curse when it's too tight . . . .
8. You sigh deeply when it goes in easy . . . .
9. You get hungry or want a cold beer or both after you finish . . . .
10. You never have enough light to see what you're doing . . . .
11. The first time always take the longest; the second time is usually easier . . . .


Ok that's 11 so far. Anybody else . . . .

Thanks,
bigmaq

12. After getting paid do it for eight hours a day, I don't really like to do it once I get home...

Oh, wait... You said ways they were LIKE each other...

Nevermind.

MV

If I did it for 12 hours at work you can bet your reproductive organ I'd have nothing available for my little woman. I mean after 10 hrs, I ain't wurf nuffin and my lips not to memshun muh thungue, hurps sumfin thervul.

B

My knuckles don't bleed after sex.

"When word of your skills gets out, women in need seek you out and less skilled men envy you."


"While the parts are generally the same, the foreign models always seem more exotic."

"A professional might get it done faster, but it could cost a fortune."

OK, you are creeping me out with #6.

You must be doing something wrong then...

I think he takes a week off every month...

#6 creeps me out too...

If R. Kelley worked on HIS car!

13. Occasionaly its fun to work on a newer model.

Sometimes all you're doing is screwing (especially true with oil pans).

14. some times you find the wrong hole.

Why? Sometimes the girl has "fluids" that spray out of the kitty or sometimes the boobs.

4. Or she can put it in for you

7. I haven't found that to be a problem. Especially when she can "grip" whatever you put in there.

8. Tossed many hotdogs down the hallways, have we? :eek:

I would have thought that the first time takes the shortest time while subsequent times take longer times. :confused:

I think he means takes the longest to get it in...not the longest total time once in.