We've all seen that misandric e-mail about the way the sexes go about doing oil changes (so much so that I posted my own rebuttal here: Oil Changes: How the different sexes do things...)

Now, goose and gander time:
****************************************

A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:

'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.

After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.'

*******************************
Male Procedure:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash, and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.

*******************************
Female Procedure:

1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents onto passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine, due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear-view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty handbag, locate card-holder, and place card into the slot provided!
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.

***********************************

Feel free to pass this on. . . .
.

__________________
* *
-- Paul W. (The Benzadmiral)
('03 Buick Park Avenue, charcoal/cream)
Formerly:
'97 C230, smoke silver/parchment; '86 420SEL, anthracite/light grey; '84 280CE (W123), dark blue/palomino

Very well put. I am always on my girlfriend's you know what to freakin' just put her ID and her debit card back in the designated slot in her wallet. I swear we always wait 15 minutes for her to search through her purse only to find her card in a book in the back of her car.

__________________
1984 300SD Orient Red/ Palomino
1989 560SEC
2016 Mazda 6 6 speed manual
1995 Ford F-150 reg cab 4.9 5speed manual

Whether the steps taken are reality or lore, it DOES appear that females spend an inordinate time at the ATM...or perhaps there is an "Apply for a Home Loan" option on the ATM that I overlooked but women find useful...

__________________
2009 ML350 (106K) - Family vehicle
2001 CLK430 Cabriolet (80K) - Wife's car
2005 BMW 645CI (138K) - My daily driver
2016 Mustang (32K) - Daughter's car

My bank has one of those, the numb nuts that I have gotten stuck behind drive me nuts. How the **** does it take 10 minutes to withdraw from an ATM? I simply cannot fathom moving that slow.

__________________
1999 SL500
1969 280SE
2023 Ram 1500
2007 Tiara 3200

I have the drive thru ATMs.... They are too high for me to reach from the SL and TE (its lowered) and too low for me to reach from the G wagon.

__________________
-Justin

91 560 SEC AMG - other dogs dd
01 Honda S2000 - dogs dd
07 MB ML320 CDI - dd
16 Lexus IS250 - wifes dd

it's automatic.

........you ought to see 'em at the HD self-checkout lines.........10 minutes would be a GD miracle..........


I can get four or five items checked and out the door in less than 90 seconds............I like it.

I always wonder why there is "brail for the blind" on the drive up ATM machines

I have always wondered about that one myself.

Nope! It's the fact that they see a reflection of their faces in the camera's lens...and since they realize that a picture is being taken, they have to look good!

__________________

M. G. Burg
'10 - Dakota SXT - Daily Ride / ≈ 172.5K
.'76 - 450SLC - 107.024.12 / < .89.20 K
..'77 - 280E - 123.033.12 / > 128.20 K
...'67 - El Camino - 283ci / > 207.00 K
....'75 - Yamaha - 650XS / < 21.00 K
.....'87 - G20 Sportvan / > 206.00 K
......'85 - 4WINNS 160 I.O. / 140hp
.......'74 - Honda CT70 / Real 125
.
“I didn’t really say everything I said.”
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ~ Yogi Berra ~

.

My wife is a ninja of an ATM user.

She has some of the envelopes that you use to make deposits at home,
and in the glove box. Fills them out ahead of time.

She can deposit her check, and transfer money from savings to checking, and withdraw $20 for my allowance, and then get
the darn thing to print a receipt with pictures of the checks she deposited !

All in about the same amount of time it takes a normal person to do
a withdrawal.

Have Fun !
RichC


.

__________________

When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace.
Jimi Hendrix

I don't use ATM's.

__________________
"It's normal for these things to empty your wallet and break your heart in the process."
2012 SLK 350
1987 420 SEL

I tried using ATMs when they first came along. Then my bank began charging me to use it, so I quit. I haven't used one since.

Ned Ludd

__________________
" We have nothing to fear but the main stream media itself . . . ."- Adapted from Franklin D Roosevelt for the 21st century

OBK #55

1998 Lincoln Continental - Sold
Max 1984 300TD 285,000 miles - Sold
The Dee8gonator 1987 560SEC 196,000 miles - Sold
Orgasmatron - 2006 CLS500 90,000 miles
2002 C320 Wagon 122,000 miles
2016 AMG GTS 12,000 miles

To keep production costs down, keypads are assembled with the same parts, regardless of whether the unit will be installed at a walk-up or drive-up ATM.

Still, it's good for a laugh to see "Braille-inscribed" keys at a drive up ATM...I get mental pictures of Stevie Wonder pulling up to one of them in a limo...

__________________
2009 ML350 (106K) - Family vehicle
2001 CLK430 Cabriolet (80K) - Wife's car
2005 BMW 645CI (138K) - My daily driver
2016 Mustang (32K) - Daughter's car

3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

That could well be the most profound statement on the material obsessed vulgarity of modern life,in so many ways.

I think the females would be just as quick as us testosterone making fellows if they could find their cards first before they drove up.

__________________
1984 300SD Orient Red/ Palomino
1989 560SEC
2016 Mazda 6 6 speed manual
1995 Ford F-150 reg cab 4.9 5speed manual