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  #31  
Old 07-24-2008, 02:26 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Benzadmiral View Post
My fiction writers' group has been critiquing the novel manuscript of mine that some of you assisted with earlier this year: Con game question

The group members are sharp, and I frequently take their advice. But we've bumped into an issue of word choice. Now a writer doesn't have to take the shorter word over the longer or less familiar if the latter is *exactly* right. But I'm wondering. For instance, in a recent discussion, one group member objected to a career cop using the word "firing" to describe the act of arson: "The Arson Squad got a tip that the Wolves [a teenage gang] had been behind the firing of two abandoned houses that winter and spring."

I could use "burning," of course. But I think "firing" (in the sense of "setting fire to," which wouldn't work as I've phrased the speech above) is the sort of term a cop or firefighter, or lawyer, would use. What do you think?
.
I like the use of the word "firing". It's use is very clear with the mention of the "Arson Squad" and it sounds fitting as "cop talk".

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  #32  
Old 07-24-2008, 09:11 AM
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Originally Posted by Hatterasguy View Post
Thats what I am saying as well. Some of the stuff I read uses old language either because its old, or is written to sound that way.

Sadly I am not familer with his transcript, some story context is needed. Is this a 2008 NY city cop? Or an 1890 cop?
Ah. I should have given that. The story takes place in 2004 in New Orleans and, in this scene, Aurora, CO, just east of Denver. The speaker, John Leone, is a veteran detective, and he's relating events that took place in 1986, right after he'd made detective. He's talking to the hero, a college professor, and the hero's sister, a partner in an art gallery. However, their father was an NOPD cop, so they grew up hearing the jargon ( "on the job" for being a cop, "perp" for perpetrator, etc.). And they've told him this.

There's also the detail that Leone's partner in 1986 had been with Arson before coming over to Homicide. So Leone might have picked up some specialized Arson terms.

Kip is right: The question is, what term would a modern veteran cop be likely to use? If the cop would use "firing," and nobody understands it, I can (a) leave it and let 'em look it up, or (b) change it to something that still fits but is easily understood by the reader. My group also balked at "jape" for "joke," but my dictionaries don't say that the former is obsolete or archaic. And it's used by the narrator, an educated person. So that's gonna stay.
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Last edited by Benzadmiral; 07-24-2008 at 01:00 PM.
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  #33  
Old 07-24-2008, 09:49 AM
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Ok, I now have an answer. I've been involved in two arson investigations in Aurora, CO. In neither one did any cops or arson investigators use the word 'fired'.
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  #34  
Old 07-24-2008, 09:53 AM
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Was there a kiln involved? That could change everything.
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  #35  
Old 07-24-2008, 10:18 AM
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I'll give you a true vignette about the Aurora police that you might be able to work into your novel.
The two arson investigations I was involved with occurred at a condominium complex in Aurora where I was resident manager. In the late 1980's the decline in the oil industry brought lots of foreclosures to the complex and investors bought the condos which in turn brought some white trash renters into the complex. This was also the time at which thong bathing suits first hit the market.
A hot young woman on the cutting edge had purchased a thong and was lounging around the pool. A white trash renter brought her kids to the pool and threatened to beat up the hot young woman if she did leave or put on another bathing suit because she was corrupting her children by exposing her fine ass. The hot young woman called the Aurora police and reported the threat. The Aurora police responded in atypically quick fashion. They took the white trash aside and scolded her while re-ass-uring the hot young woman that they would look out for her safety. Every five minutes, for the rest of that day, a different patrol car would show up at the pool with two officers fulfilling their civic duty of visually inspecting the threatened portion of the woman's body and making sure she was free from any bodily threats.
Of course, the young woman also asked the resident manager if he would keep an eye on her to make sure her excursions to the pool were free of bodily harm. He told her he was happy to oblige.

On a similar theme, the condos were hard wired with smoke detectors. One day, a smoke detector malfunctioned bringing a fire truck to the complex. The resident wasn't home so I had to open the door for the firemen. Turns out the resident was a professional dominatrix with the tools of her trade arrayed in the condo. Needless to say, this quickly became a multiple alarm call with many stations responding to give additional aid.
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Last edited by kerry; 07-24-2008 at 10:28 AM.
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  #36  
Old 07-24-2008, 10:24 AM
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It should be firings. Two houses, two fires.

In the kitchen it means to start a dish, as in "Kerry! fire one beef, one chicken!"
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  #37  
Old 07-24-2008, 11:00 AM
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My take is you have decission weather to make the script 'authentic' to the period and characters. Or one present people would understand. Eventhough it is in Colorado, is the cop from New Orleans? Then he'd use jargon (thanks previous poster) that matches. You could even write in some discrepency of jargon used in the different locals during that time.
Tom
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  #38  
Old 07-24-2008, 11:05 AM
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You use what your verstand tells you to.
Cops and firefighters in their street argot may call it torching or Jewish/Sicilian Lightning,just as most do,but when it comes down to wording a report, firing is correct.
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  #39  
Old 07-24-2008, 12:03 PM
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Originally Posted by Carleton Hughes View Post
You use what your verstand tells you to.
Cops and firefighters in their street argot may call it torching or Jewish/Sicilian Lightning,just as most do,but when it comes down to wording a report, firing is correct.
Yes; as usual with humans, spoken and written are two different things. I can imagine "firing" being used in the written reports of the incidents. "Torching" would be used in speaking semi-formally or informally, as the Aurora cop is doing in this scene.

(Kerry, I love the stories. I may not be able to use these here, but they're going into the mental hard drive for use in the future!)
.

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